Positively Negative

I'm generally a positive person, though I'd say I'm more of a realist than an optimist.


That said, I do have times when I'm positively positive and also times when I'm positively negative.  Tonight my mood fits more in the latter category.  While it's not like something happened that I'm really upset about, I'm just kind of feeling down.


Christmas is approaching quickly and we've bought two presents thus far, one for each of our kids.  While I know they'll be thrilled with those gifts because they're high up on their wish lists, I have no idea if or when we'll be able to get anything else for them.  I'm hoping to at least get a few small stocking stuffers because I'll be the one crying on Christmas morning if the stockings are still dangling empty.  And we usually exchange gifts with my parents and Nash's parents and we usually give our nieces and nephews gifts, but I just don't see that happening at this point.  I do realize that's not what the holiday is all about, but I also really enjoying picking out things for others and hopefully making them smile on Christmas day.

I also miss my parents this time of the year.  Oh, it's not that I don't miss them at other times of the year, but it's hard to live so very far away from them during the holiday season.  It has been a year and a half since I saw them last and that is WAY too long.  I keep saying that we WILL go see them next year, but I also know that may not happen.  I hope and pray it's possible though because otherwise I really will be devastated and I know my kids miss their grandparents too.


Then there's this job stuff.  I think I must have prayed for patience at some point.  I had my first interview almost 8 weeks ago.  So far I've had 2 phone interviews and 2 in person interviews.  And guess what?  I have another in person interview on Thursday.  I guess if nothing else I'm getting a lot of experience interviewing.  Crazy.  Either offer me the job or don't, but make up your mind already.  It makes me wonder if it's a place I'd want to work if they do make me an offer.  *sigh*


Lack of sunshine/daylight I know plays into my mood this time of the year too.  Nash says I'm solar powered and I think there's probably more truth than not to that.  But, this time of the year, even on a sunny day, the sun goes down way too early and by 8pm it feels like 10pm.


There are some other things on my mind too, but I'm not prepared to delve into those at the moment.  And I do realize that I'm super blessed and have so very many more reasons to be positive than negative, but for the moment I'm in a bit of a funk.  I'm sure it will pass ... or more likely, it will come and go.  And that's okay I guess ... part of this whole being human thing and all I suppose.


Comments

  1. This time of year is always bitter sweet. I think it is for many of us. We hardly have any gifts purchased at the moment. I know it isn't the reason for the season, but the 'gift of giving' is the second best part. As you can't have the complete best part, being with all of your family, I can understand why you would feel down.

    Here is hoping you start to feel the logical reasons to be happy soon!

    willie

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    1. You're right Willie, this time of the year is bittersweet for many I think. Last night was just one of those down nights. I don't often share those feelings here because I'd rather dwell on happier things, but I think we all feel down sometimes, for whatever reason. Today has been a crazy day and I haven't even had a chance to feel ... well, anything really. lol It's all just a part of life. ;)

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  2. Aww Lilli, I'm sorry you are feeling down, as Willie said,this time of year is bitter sweet for many. I agree also, giving is a gift. My family has decided to go to a restaurant this year and because that is expensive forgoe exchanging gifts. I'm not happy about it.

    Your children will be thrilled on Christmas morning, I'm sure. They have the best gift of all...loving parents.

    I hope you are feeling brighter soon and that they finally make up their minds about the job!

    ((Hugs))
    Roz

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    1. You're right Roz, this time of the year is bittersweet for many. I'm sorry you're not happy about your family's decision, but I do hope you enjoy the time together. My kids will be fine ... it was me who was feeling down. It happens. And then I move on. ;)

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  3. Hey Lilli...this is a tough time of year for many people for different reasons. My family endured several very lean Christmas'. I don't know how old your children are but mine were always happy to find an apple and an orange in their stockings. Hopefully you can find enough in the budget to get them a few stocking stuffers from Dollar Tree. As far as your family...you might consider making something or having the children make something for them. These are all just suggestions, which, along with a $1 will get ya a cheap cup of coffee.

    Regarding the interview process...my company has multiple interviews...they have a name for it...think it might be the FIT process or something like that. Anyway, it's to ensure that whoever is hired fits into the company culture and the team dynamic for the team they are interviewing for. When we apply for new positions within the company, we still end up going through multiple interviews to ensure we are a fit for the new team we want to work with. I know it's a painful and frustrating process but it really does work well. Sending lots of prayers and positive energy that everything works out with the new job and finances for the holidays.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. That's so true Cat, it is a tough time of the year for many, for many reasons. My kids will be fine. I was just feeling down about it last night. I guess everything just was getting to me, for whatever reason. Time to move on now though. ;)

      Thanks for sharing that info with me about the interview process where you work. It helps to know that this is just the way it's done at some companies. And I definitely want things to be a good fit anyway. I don't want to find myself job hunting again anytime soon. ;)

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  4. Hi Lilli, Sorry things are hard at the moment. Hoping things pick up soon and that you do finally get the job. Spending time together is really the most important gift, just hard to focus on that sometimes.
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Thanks Jan! It's okay, really. For whatever reason everything was just getting to me last night. Today is a new day ... as is tomorrow ... and the next ... and the next. ;)

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  5. Aw Lilli sorry to hear your feeling down! I will write to you now hopefully that will make you smile (hugs)

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    1. That's sweet of you Daisy! An email from you always brightens my day! :)

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  6. Aww Lilli, :) Sorry that you are feeling down. Life sure has its challenges. The holidays bring some front and center, for sure!

    I am sure that whatever you end up doing, your children will have a nice Christmas with you and Nash, full of love and fun, making memories, and all that good stuff!

    I hope that things turn around for you on the job front. It isn't easy. Rob is still looking too. This time, between holidays is very hard, as lots of people are on one kind of break or another. Things may just fall into place after January 1. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    1. Thanks Katie! It's really not that anything is horrible, it's just that sometimes when there are several challenges to face at once it can get wearying ... is that a word? Wearying ... yup, looked it up, it is a word. lol I suppose I should have just said tiresome. ;)
      I'm sorry to hear that Rob is still looking too. Yes, I think the time of year may make it harder ... but these days I'm not sure it matters that much, it can be hard to find a good job period. I will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers as well and I hope that Rob finds something just right for him and your family soon! (((hugs)))

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  7. I am just trying to catch up here in blogland. Sometimes the hard parts in life just seem to be more difficult to bear around the holidays.

    As for me, I truly love to choose or make gifts for the people I care about most. It brings me great joy at Christmas and all through the year.

    The last time I was job hunting, I purchased a book about how to prepare for an interview. It was the best $12 I ever spent.

    Good Luck, Lilli,
    Ella

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    1. Hi Ella! This was just a post I wrote and decided to share one evening when I was letting everything get to me. I'm not really in that head space anymore, thankfully! (((hugs)))

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