Music & Emotions

If you're a music lover, as I am, maybe you'll relate to this.  Sometimes a song will meet me where I'm at, like a reflection of how I'm feeling, happy or sad.  Sometimes a song will help amplify those feelings, bringing them more to the surface.  Other times a song will change how I'm feeling or rather, lead me to tap into another emotion.  Now, that's a wonderful thing when it helps me change a heavier, darker mood to a lighter and brighter one, but that's not always the case.

Perhaps you know the song 7 Years by Lukas Graham?  I really like it, but it's one of those songs that can bring my emotions to the surface.  Sometimes I sing along happily, but this morning when it came on I didn't sing along, I just listened to the lyrics and soon found that my eyes were leaking.

Our daughter's birthday is coming up.  We'll make sure it's a happy day of celebration as she leaves the teen years behind and embraces her 20's.

Wow.  I'm feeling old.  One child will be 20 and the other just started high school.

My daughter, our daughter, she's had some struggles, especially in the past couple of years.  What should have been a joyous time of discovery, moving on from high school to college, has been riddled with hurt and sadness and has at times been rather terrifying.  She has some health issues that really came to the forefront as she transitioned to adulthood and to watch her struggle has been heartbreaking.  Don't get me wrong, this daughter of ours is a fighter, but as a parent, to not be able to fix things, to sometimes not even know what to do or where to go to get her help ... well, to say that it's been hard is an understatement.  Oh dear, there are those tears again.

I wonder ... have I failed her?  What could I have done that I didn't do?  What did I do that I shouldn't have?  How could I have changed the course of things for her?  I realize that even if I had the answers to those questions it doesn't much matter now.  And the reality is that there may have been nothing that I could've done or that I shouldn't have done.  What matters now is how we all move forward.  But, that's as much a question mark in my mind as the other questions.  It seems like every time she tries to move forward something holds her back or blocks her path.  I try to be encouraging and supportive, not pushy or overbearing.  But, inevitably I feel out of my depth.  And I've felt that way for the past two years.  Why do they publish so many baby books when the real parenting challenges arise so much later?

The best songs, in my estimation, are the ones that make you feel something, they help you tap into emotions, happy or sad.  Even though listening to this song this morning made me cry, I still like it.  In fact, I think I'll listen to it again.  Would you like to join me?


7 Years by Lukas Graham

No tears this time around for me.  They were cathartic though, the tears that is, as was writing about my feelings.  I think I'm ready to move on with my day now in a more positive direction, hopefully with a smile on my face instead of tears streaming down it.  I hope you enjoyed the song and have a wonderful day.

Comments

  1. Well you had me in 'knowing' tears as well. It is so tough at times, the emotions can be unbearable. Our thoughts towards ourselves can be downright cruel in an already seemingly unfair situation. I'd try to encourage you not to look back, but I know as a mother, it is a form of self torture we do looking for answers. Hopefully those times of looking back are fewer now.

    Happy to hear those tears did their trick!
    willie

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    1. Thanks Willie and sorry I had you in "knowing" tears. (((hugs)))

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  2. Happy birthday to her. Being a parent is never easy and there are a lot of times you want to take their chaalenges as your own but cant thats when they need our support the most.

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  3. Hi Lilli, I like that song too and music does the same for me.

    Happy Birthday to your daughter. Seeing your child struggling must be so difficult. You want to take the struggle away for them.

    I know it must be hard not to look back, but the fact you do says what a wonderful and loving Mother you are. You and Nash have done the best you could for your daughter and I'm sure she would say you have definitely not failed her.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thanks Roz, I hope you're right. (((hugs)))

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  4. Oh yes I think everyone can identify with that song. So simple but so clever!
    None of those questions matter Lilli just try look forward now. I know from my mum having to deal with my difficult times its SOO important to look forward. Your daughter will know your there for her, you love her and want her to be happy 😊

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    1. Thanks Daisy, I certainly hope so. (((hugs)))

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