I Can Do This! ~vs~ Can I Do This?

I've been out of the workforce a long time now.  But, recently I've been job hunting.  And tomorrow I have an interview.  When I got the call I was so excited.  And now?  I'm feeling really nervous. I've gone from feeling confident in myself and my abilities to questioning whether I have what it takes.

Yes, I'm nervous about the interview.  I've looked up tricky interview questions and ways to answer them.  I've gone through my closet and tried on clothes, coming up with, I hope, two good outfits to choose from tomorrow.  I've mapped out my route so I know exactly where I'm headed and what time I need to leave, etc.

But, I'm nervous about more than the interview.  I juggle a lot of stuff already ... can I successfully add working back into that mix?

2015 was mostly a year of crisis and recovery for our family.  While still in recovery mode in some ways, 2016 seems to be about change.  There are a lot of things that are changing, from little things to bigger things.  My hope is that all these changes will mean smoother roads ahead, better things ahead.

For quite some time last year I kept repeating to myself BE STILL from Psalm 46:10 - “Be still, and know that I am God.” (paraphrase).  I needed that reassurance that everything was in God's hands and that I needed to try to chill out and yes, do what I could do, but have faith and leave the rest in his hands.  Such a hard thing to do in times of crisis.

At some point I transitioned to repeating HOPE and HE IS MY ANCHOR to myself ... words drawn from Hebrews 6:19 - We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure (paraphrase).   You see, I was scared to hope, but yet I needed to have hope that things would be okay, that they'd get better.  And when I felt like I just couldn't handle all that was going on, all that had happened, all that was happening, I needed to remember that God is my anchor, he is my strength.  I may not be able to steady the ship myself, to deal with things on my own, but that's okay because he's the anchor holding the ship safe and secure, not me.

And then yesterday I found myself staring at a wall hanging we have with 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 on it - Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Now that's a scripture I've been drawn to many times, and usually when I've seen it quoted someone is speaking of marriage and will often continue through verse 13 which says - So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.  But yesterday I kept being drawn to the part where it says "believes all things" and in particular to the word believes.  And I just kind of dwelt on that a bit, what it really means to believe, to have belief in someone or something.  I wasn't thinking of my relationship with Nash, but rather my relationship with God.  God is love after all (1 John 4:8 - Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.).  And I don't know if I can really explain my thought process very well (that can be a messy thing sometimes, lol).  But, what it boiled down to is that I need to believe ... truly believe ... believe in God, believe in his word, believe in his plan (Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.), believe and have faith (Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.).

And so, where does this leave me today with my feelings of self doubt?  Well, Philippians 4:13 says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  So, if God is my hope and my anchor, if he has a plan for me, if I can rely on his strength rather than my own, if I believe in him, if I've put my faith in him then self doubt is a silly thing, is it not?  Now let's see if I can remember that! 


Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 18, 2016

    Hi lilli! I have finally finished all of your blog post and I finally decided to comment. I wanted to say good luck on your interview! I am a sahm as well and one day I will be in your shoes as well. You will do great!

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    1. Hi Anon! Welcome! Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting! And thanks for the encouragement! :)

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  2. You've got this! I have total confidence in you! And if it doesn't work out, then it wasn't meant to be. I love you!!

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    1. Daddy!!! I'm so excited that you commented on my blog!

      (for anyone who doesn't know, he reads all my posts and often emails me with feedback)

      Thanks for always being so supportive and encouraging! I love you too!!!

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  3. Lilli good luck with your interview. I was a SAHM for many years then went back to work for a short period. Not in my original field of work but in retail. I absolutely loved every minute of it and made so many wonderful friends. Sending you heaps of positive vibes for a good outcome. I'm sure you'll ace the interview.
    Hugs Lindy

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    1. Thanks Lindy! I'm not looking for a job in my original field of work either as my priorities are a bit different these days. ;) I'm glad you enjoyed working when you went back. I hope to be able to report the same at some point. (((hugs)))

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  4. Good Luck Lilli, you can do it!
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement Jan! (((hugs)))

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  5. Hi Lilli, wishing you the best of luck for the interview and sending positive vibes. Hold on to that confidence you initially had, you can definitely do this. It will be a big change and adjustment, but you got this :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thanks Roz! Going back to work will definitely be a big adjustment, not just for me, but for our family. That said, it feels like the timing is right and though I am nervous, I'm excited too. :) (((hugs)))

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