Submissive? Of sorts.


The dictionary defines the word submissive as an adjective meaning willing to obey someone else or inclined to submit to the authority of another.  But in today's vernacular the word submissive is also used as a noun.  Using the dictionary definition, but in the form of a noun, being a submissive means that you're willing to obey someone else or that you're inclined to submit yourself to the authority of another.

So, what does it mean to submit?

The dictionary defines submit as a verb meaning to yield oneself to the power, authority or will of another; to allow oneself to be subjected to something; to defer to or consent to abide by another's judgment, opinion, decision, or authority. 

This can manifest itself differently, depending on a variety of factors.  We're all unique and we all change over time, as do our relationships.  So, submission can look different in different relationships and even in the same relationship over time.  I can only speak to what submission means to me and to what it looks like now and has looked like in the past in my relationship.

First off, I'm only submissive to my husband Nash.  Well, I suppose that's not entirely true.  I'm submissive to God...but that's another subject for another time.  The only human being I'm submissive to is my husband.  And I'm not his submissive because I have to be, but rather because that's what I want.  Oh, don't get me wrong, that's what he wants too.  But, if I wasn't willing, well, it just wouldn't be the case.

Maybe you've heard the mantra: safe, sane and consensual.  The word consensual is an adjective meaning relating to or involving consent, particularly mutual consent.  So, what's consent?  Consent can either be used as a noun or a verb and it means to agree to do or allow something; to give permission for something to happen or be done.  I've given my consent to my husband.  And he has graciously accepted my gift of submission.

So, are you wondering why I added "of sorts" to the title of this post?  I suppose it's because I'm a work in progress.  I doubt I'd fit the criteria of some book or movie version of a submissive.  I doubt many submissives do actually.  Fiction is often quite different than reality.  And while I certainly enjoy fantasy, it should never be confused with reality.

I'm sure I'll share much more on the topic of submission over time.  It's something that has been on my mind a lot lately as we seem to be going through a transition in our relationship dynamic.  Yeah, I'm sure I'll share more about that as well.  Lilli the does have a nice ring to it, don't you think?  I know Nash wholeheartedly agrees.  ;)


  1. You're right Lilli we are all different.

    1. Yes, we certainly are Angel Blue. And if you ask me, that's a good thing. ;)


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