Second-Guessing Myself

What am I doing?

On the one hand, this is an exciting time.
  • I'm letting my babygirl out of her box.  She's been in there a long time...peeking her head out, but always getting shoved back in...not being understood, by me much less anyone else.  (sorry, I know, I'm speaking about myself in the third person)
  • I'm discovering others like me.  In fact, some of the things I've been reading are helping me to understand myself better.  So, maybe there really isn't something wrong with me deep down in the core of my being.  Nice to know.
  • My relationship with my husband is growing and changing.

On the other hand, it's a bit terrifying too.
  • I've denied this part of me for so long that it's scary to let it roam free.  Sometimes I want to let it burst forth, but other times I feel much more timid.  I mean, what if letting the babygirl part of me out to play ends up being detrimental...to me, to my marriage, to my family...instead of it being a positive change? 
  • I don't know anyone in this part of the blogosphere.  Starting a new blog is exciting, but part of me wonders if I'll be welcomed and accepted.  I realize no one here knows me either, so it will likely take some time and that's okay.  It's just that I don't normally worry much about what others think of me, but I'm feeling out of my depth and that makes me feel a bit insecure sometimes.
  • What if Nash decides the Daddy Dom role just isn't for him?  What if he gets sick of the demands it puts on him to deal with a babygirl?  I mean, in many ways this isn't anything new.  It's always been there.  It's more like putting a name to a face.  It's like giving a caged animal it's freedom to roam.  And yet...what if he decides the animal was better off left in it's pen?

Hmmm...I suppose I'm not just second guessing myself, but second guessing my husband too.  He won't appreciate that.  But, he does appreciate honesty.

So...what am I doing?

Good question.

Moving apparently.

Where?

I'm not sure yet.

But, I know where I'm moving from.

Out of my comfort zone.

Comments

  1. I so get everything here. I'm just discovering or recognizing this part of myself. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome toraprincess! Thanks for stopping by and saying hello! It can be an exciting, but confusing and sometimes frustrating time. Do you agree?

      Delete
  2. Yes i agree! It also seem that more of my life is making sense.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts