Our Life

Monday through Friday he's gone. Often part of Saturday too. Staying connected while apart often proves difficult.

I miss him terribly, but I go on about my business day after day. The anticipation of his return grows as the week goes on, but oddly enough that longing sometimes makes it hard to adjust to him actually being here.

The weekend itself always goes by too quickly. Whatever part of it we get to spend together is consumed mostly with family time and obligations of one kind or another. Time for just the two of us is scant. We try to seize whatever opportunities we have, often at the expense of sleep. If all goes well I'm left wanting more and sad to say goodbye. If things don't go so well I'm still sad to say goodbye and left bemoaning missed opportunities.

I have a love hate relationship with Sunday nights. I long to savor what time we have left and cling to him, yet I have to try to fend off that part of me that wants to withdraw and push him away in preparation for his departure early the next morning. Sometimes it can be quite an emotional tug of war and I need his help to ensure the victory.

The beginning of the week can be hard, not unlike the middle of the week and even the end. His absence is at times like a gaping wound. Daytime isn't usually the problem, there is plenty on my plate to keep me busy. But the nights, the nights are difficult. I often stay up late, not wanting to climb into our bed alone, preferring to wait until I'm nearly asleep before turning in. Sometimes I snuggle with the stuffed animal he bought to keep me company while he's gone. But at times that only makes his absence more palpable rather than comforting me. I may read in bed, but it's the television, volume low, screen brightness turned down, sleep timer set, that lulls me to sleep every night.

I long for a day when we can spend more time together. I crave his presence. My thirst for him is insatiable. I know there are reasons things are as they are right now, but that doesn't make it any easier. Change seems out of grasp, but I won't give up hope. Life isn't worth living without it.

Comments

  1. Hello Lilli, I just wanted to drop by and see your blog. Sorry to hear you are on your own right now.
    Hugs you!

    Ash

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    Replies
    1. Hi Ash! Thanks for stopping by and for the commiseration and the hugs. I wrote this quite late last night/early this morning. Pretty obvious I was missing him, huh? (((hugs)))

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  2. Hi Lilli, I just found you and wanted to say hi. I look forward to hearing more from you. I had to giggle at you banner as I have a coaster a friend sent me with those exact words...totally me lol

    I'm sorry you are apart so much, I can't imagine how hard that must be.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Hi Roz! Thanks for stopping by to say hello!
      Cool that you have a coaster with those exact words on them! Hmmm...that makes me wonder if there are a bunch of other items with that quote on them too. I may have to look, just out of curiosity of course. ;)
      Being apart so much is difficult, but it also makes us appreciate the time we do have together so much more.
      (((hugs)))

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