Confession

From: Grace
To: Michael
Subject: Confession

I have a confession to make. I have been taking cash out when going grocery shopping. Sometimes I would take some when checking out at just one store, sometimes at both. I was planning to save up the money in case we needed it for something or for our trip or whatever. Instead I spent it....at various times, in various places, on various things.

I was being sneaky and going behind your back by taking cash out at the grocery stores. I knew you likely wouldn't notice it and would just think that's what the groceries and household stuff had cost. Initially when I started doing it, it was because I was afraid of something happening and not having money and needing it. But then it would end up getting spent on stuff like guitar lessons or lunch out or whatever. And eventually I just stopped caring what it was spent on and looked at it as money that could be spent, instead of money that needed to be saved. And after all the stuff with money last year, I told myself that I didn't care what you thought because obviously you didn't care what I thought. I told myself that if you could make monetary choices that left me in the dark, I could do the same thing. When I started doing it, I was motivated by fear, but it progressed into a sort of backlash against you.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being sneaky. I'm sorry for going behind your back. I'm sorry for ultimately making poor decisions with our money (even if my original intent had been a good one). I'm sorry for not trusting you at the outset when I was really just scared. I'm sorry for not opening a dialogue with you rather than going behind your back. I'm sorry for justifying my actions to myself because I was angry and hurt. I'm sorry for all of it.

I know that you're going to be upset and hurt by this, but I hope that you can forgive me.

I'm so sorry.


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From: Michael
To: Grace
Subject: Re:Confession

Oh kitten, what am I going to do with you?

I understand where this came from, but I cannot condone how you went about it.

I will always love you! I'm not upset, but I am disappointed at how you handled it.

I am glad you told me though.

We will talk about it this weekend.

As always we will get past this and all will be fine for our trip.

I love you!


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Later, via text...

Daddy?

Yes kitten?

<long pause>
 
Um.  Am I in trouble?
 
That was a long wait for five little words.
Yes kitten, you are.

Oh.  I mean, I figured I was.  But I've been kind of afraid to ask.
Big Trouble?

No need to be afraid to ask.
Not huge.

Big enough?

Yup.  Big enough.

*biting lower lip*

You're cute, you know that?

<smiley face emoticon>

I love you!

I love you too!


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Michael will be home sometime tomorrow.  My last post was entitled Anticipation, but that was fiction.  The anticipation I'm feeling now is all too real.  *sigh*

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