Who Am I Really?

A recent revelation in our little corner of blogland has some people reeling. Lies had been perpetuated and the truth came out...well, what is presumably the truth anyway. Trust given was broken. Feelings were hurt. And because of this there is an unease. Some are questioning their presence here. Many are questioning whether their trust has been misplaced in more than just this one person. Can we trust anyone here in blogland? Are any of us who we claim to be?

I guess I can only answer that question as it pertains to me.

No, my real name isn't Grace. But, I think we all know that most, if not all of us use a pen name in blogland. If ttwd was something we felt we could talk or write freely about we probably wouldn't be here to begin with. There are a few, very few, here who know my real name. I'm friends with a couple of them on Facebook. And one person I've met in person several times now.

No, I don't share everything about my life here. I'm open to the extent I'm comfortable with. You'd be bored if I shared everything anyway. lol But, what I do write is the truth or at least as best as I can recall it. What I mean is that sometimes after the fact I don't remember the exact order of events. Did he spank me with his hand and then the wooden spoon and then the rod or was it his hand, the rod and then the spoon? Sometimes details like those stand out in my mind and other times they're a bit hazy, but I try my best to recount things accurately. Of course a lot of what I share is more subjective than that anyway, how I'm feeling about something, my perspective, etc.

So, who am I really?

I'm a child of God, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I go to church and I homeschool my kids. I try to be the best me I can be, but I make mistakes and fall short more often than I like to admit. But what you see is what you get. This is me.

Michael is my husband. No, that's not his real name...but we've been over that already, right?  And yes, he spanks me.

Other than the few fiction posts I've shared (which are clearly marked as fiction and the writing is totally different anyway), everything you've read here is true. It's up to you to decide if you believe that or not, if you believe me or not.

Actually, I imagine there are some who read here who don't really care one way or another. But, for me, I prefer honesty. I often say that I don't care if you agree with me or not, if you think I'll like what you have to say or not, just be honest with me. The truth will come out eventually anyway...as one person in blogland found out for herself quite recently.

I try to give people the benefit of doubt, but that doesn't mean that I trust blindly.  And that's the approach I will continue with as I make my way around blogland, reading posts, commenting sometimes, and getting to know some of you better. I don't feel somehow threatened or ill at ease because of recent events. The fact of the matter is, we're all human and sooner or later people will let you down, whether they mean to or not. Granted, there is a big difference when it comes to intent. And what came to light recently was obviously a purposeful deception.

I feel badly for those who were personally affected, those whose trust was broken, those whose feelings were hurt.  They're in my thoughts and prayers.  And I feel bad for the perpetrator.  No, not that her darkness was exposed to the light, but that she felt she had to lie to begin with, that she didn't feel worthy enough, good enough to just be herself.  Those are the lies Satan whispers in people's ears and I'm sad that she believed those lies and acted upon them.  I pray that she gets the help she needs and sees the truth of God's light in her life.

As for me, I'm going to...



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