Drought


One definition of the word drought is a prolonged or chronic shortage or lack of something expected or desired.

There really hasn't been any spanking around here for...months. Yup. Months.

That's not the only thing. There has also been no sex. That's right, no sex.  None. Yes, for months.

It started (or I suppose I should say stopped) when our world was turned upside down earlier this year.

It wasn't a decision that was made or something that was discussed. There was quite simply a chasm between us. And while we've put a lot of hard work and effort into building a bridge so that we could find our way back to each other, well, there are areas in which we haven't reconnected yet.

Why?

I don't know.

There are the normal reasons...like being apart a lot and being busy and being tired. But, I don't really think that's the whole story.

There's a hesitancy on both our parts. I think maybe Michael's hesitation comes from fear of rejection. I don't know that as it's not something I've asked him. But, that's my speculation. And, given what we've been through I think that's probably quite normal. On my part I think it has to do with trust and being willing to be that vulnerable again. And, given the circumstances, I imagine that's quite normal.  I also think we're both hesitant because just maybe we're not quite sure how it will go.   A lot has happened.  We can't just step back into things the exact same way that they were before because we've changed.  That's not to say that we don't love and care about one another.  And that's not to say that ttwd doesn't have a place in our marriage anymore.  But, in some ways it's almost like starting over.  We have a lot of knowledge and experience under our belts, but these are new waters we're navigating.

Honestly, I think we'd both like to end this drought.  I think we're both ready.  There have been hints given, tentative advances made, a few sprinkles have fallen, a little bit of rain.  There is something budding, but nothing has fully blossomed yet.

Hopefully soon!


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