Love & Marriage
Love and Marriage by Frank Sinatra
(theme song for the TV show Married with Children)
Michael and I were blessed to be able to attend not just one, but two marriage seminars last fall. The first one was held at our church. And the second one was a weekend getaway. While there were similarities between them, there were a lot of differences too. Michael and I found both to be incredible and they led to a time of growth and greater understanding of ourselves, each other and our relationship. It was also wonderful to get away together. We got thinking about it and figured out that we hadn't spent a night in a hotel together without our kids in five years!
We had never attended a marriage seminar before, though I had looked into them in the past. We came away from both with such good experiences that we've been recommending it to everyone we know. Honestly, I think the best part was the discussions we had together. At the conferences we listened to speakers and watched videos. There were different topics covered and of course some spoke to us more than others. Then there were suggested talking points basically, things to discuss on our own. We had workbooks with questions for each of us to answer and then come together and discuss them. One night we sat and talked for two hours! About us! Not about the kids or the house or the bills or anything else. We sat and talked for two hours (maybe a little more actually) about us, about how we each felt about some things, about where we agreed and where we differed, about our past experiences and the approach we wanted to take in the future, etc. Let me ask you...when is the last time you did that with your spouse? When you're married and have children and jobs and other commitments it's hard to find the time and/or energy for such discussions. Having both the time, void of other commitments and distractions, and the talking points to give us a starting point really were invaluable.
We also had the opportunity for some reconnecting using far less words. Michael brought several implements with him and a new toy, something we had purchased at an adult toy party that a friend of ours had. You know those home parties where they're selling jewelry or kitchenware or purses or what have you? Well, apparently there are home parties for adult toys too. Who knew? I certainly didn't, not before we got the invite. The party was actually a lot of fun and we ended up ordering a few things to try them out. The toy that Michael brought looks a bit like a toothbrush and is incredibly orgasmic...or I guess I should say that it causes me to be incredibly orgasmic. Wow! That thing really works! Michael has a penchant for controlling my orgasms and loves to hold me down and force me to orgasm, sometimes over and over and over again. He was good at that before, but now, well, now...did I saw wow already? Yeah, it was pretty intense. As for the implements, oh yes, they certainly got used as well.
All in all I have to say that I'm incredibly thankful both that we were blessed to be able to go to these conferences and also that it was something Michael was enthusiastic about as well. We talked about the fact that not all that long ago he either wouldn't have been willing to go or if he was willing to go it would've been something he did for me, not for himself, not for us. In other words, even if we had gone, his heart wouldn't have been in it and he probably wouldn't have gotten much out of it. And the reality of it is, I probably would have gone into it with my focus on the wrong thing too, how he needed to change. But instead we went into the conferences without any preconceived notions of what the experience would be like and open to whatever God had in store for us while we were there. And in the end I can say that it was one of the best things we've ever done.
If you have questions for me about the marriage conferences or whatever and don't want to ask in a comment or want to talk more in depth, please feel free to send me an email (address is over to the left at the end of the Welcome message). ;)
Oh, I almost forgot! A friend shared this on Facebook: 7 Things I Know For Sure About Happy Marriages. It's short and to the point, but the points it makes are good ones I think.
I'm curious...have you ever been to a marriage conference/seminar/getaway? If so, how was the experience? Is it something you'd do again? If not, is it something you'd consider?