Rules. Accountability. Consequences.

Do I want those things?

Do I need those things?

We've come a long way in a little less than 2 1/2 years.  And yet, we do still have struggles at times.  Often it seems like this is just a part of us now, a part of who we each are as individuals and certainly as a couple.  And yet, it can still be too easy to slip back into old patterns of behavior sometimes.  While it doesn't happen nearly as often as it used to, times of stress, sickness or just inattentiveness can lead us both to take a few steps backward, to get sidetracked or to get off track altogether.  That said, it doesn't seem like such a crisis anymore when it happens and we tend to get back on track much more quickly these days.

As a matter of fact, getting back on track is something we're working on right now.  Oh ttwd hadn't disappeared, but I suppose you could say that it had fallen into the background.  Now that isn't necessarily a bad thing.  I mean, the reality is that it can't take center stage all the time.  There are other important things in our lives that need that spotlight sometimes.  But, in a relatively short amount of time we found that we were both slipping into negative behavior patterns.  We had loosened things up a bit, which was fine for awhile.  Actually, things were going quite well...until some stress came along.  And so, now we're adding more structure back in.  My vast expanses of wiggle room seem to have shrunk considerably.  It's an odd feeling honestly. 

We've learned that we both need different approaches at different times.  Sometimes we need more structure.  We need to focus more on our roles and make sure we're following through.  And other times we need to loosen things up a bit.  We need to just enjoy one another and not be so focused on things like rules, accountability and consequences.

So...

Do I want those things?
Yes.
Except when I don't.  lol

Do I need those things?
Yes.
But, at varying degrees.  Sometimes more so and sometimes less so.

And that's one of the best things about ttwd.  We get to make it what we want it to be, what we need it to be AND as we change, we can change up ttwd too.

But truthfully, that's not really what I'm thinking about at the moment.  I just realized that Michael will be home soon.  And yes, I'm happy and excited about that.  He has the next two days off.  Woo-hoo!!!  But, what I'm really wondering is...if he'll decide to use the cane again tonight, like he did last night.  Now don't ask me if I'm hoping he will or hoping he won't because I'm feeling torn about that!  I'm also wondering if we'll spank in the new year.  Oh, I'm sure there will be spanking in 2014.  But, what I mean is, will we start off the new year with a spanking?

What about you?  How will you be celebrating the end of 2013 and the start of 2014?

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