Saying Goodbye?

It’s true that the media attention is what drove me to take my blog private recently. And I don’t apologize for that. Some in blogland seem to have assumed the worst of me and others who made that choice, but I think that says more about them than it does about me.

The truth is that while overall my experience in this community has been a positive one, I haven’t really felt at home here for a little while, well before recent events. I haven’t been spending much time in blogland posting or reading or commenting. I don’t know if I can really explain why, but I’ll try.

It’s not that I don’t care about the friends I’ve made here. It’s more about me not feeling like I really have anything to contribute. I’ve actually been feeling that way and debating about what to do with my blog for longer than I’d like to admit. I’ve been questioning whether this is where my focus really should be at this point in time.

It’s not that ttwd isn’t important to me anymore. It’s a very important part of the relationship dynamic I have with my husband. But, it’s not center stage making a spectacle of itself yelling “look at me, look at me!”  I guess I honestly don’t know what there is for me to say that I haven’t said already. At some point it becomes rather redundant. And the truth is, the recent onslaught of unwanted attention on this little corner of blogland was, for me, just the last straw or brick or whatever you want to call it. It’s far from the only reason I find myself writing this post.

When I took the blog private it was because I needed time to sort out what I thought, how I felt about recent events and how they could possibly impact me and my family. And of course I wanted to talk it over with Michael as well. I wasn’t sure whether I would leave the blog private for a time, only viewable by my husband and I or if I’d go public again, but perhaps with most of my posts not visible for the time being or if I’d leave it private, but allow it to be viewed by others at my discretion. At this point, as you can see, it’s public again, but there’s not much to be seen.

So, am I saying goodbye? Honestly, I don’t really know. But I did want to say something, to let you know how I was feeling, where I was at. And for now, I’ll leave it at that.

Please keep praying for Jim & Christina and their family, especially little Emily.

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