Identity Crisis

Yesterday I mentioned that I kind of felt out of sync with myself lately.  I wasn't sure if that would make sense to anyone because I wasn't sure that it really made sense to me.  And yet, it rang true.

Then I read this post on Susie’s blog.  The last part really hit me and I emailed the link to Michael…

The last part of this post really has me thinking.

Am I afraid to be myself sometimes?  Do I feel like you want me to be someone I'm not or want me to keep feelings bottled up inside when I can't seem to let them out in an "acceptable" way?
I don’t know.  Maybe.  Sometimes.
Your thoughts?

I think you put more pressure on you than I do to act a certain way. If you are going too far I let you know to back it down a notch.
I want you to be you, and we both know the problems associated with bottling things up inside.

Maybe sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.  I know who I was.  And I know who I want to be.  But sometimes I feel very lost in the here and         now I think.

I don't want you lost.
Now come over here and lay across my lap.
(keep in mind this is via email)

He always knows how to make me smile. :)

But I think I hit on the crux of it. I know who I used to be. And I know what my goal is, the person I want to be. But where does that leave me now? Who is this person, the one that I am right at this very moment? I’m not sure. I’m moving away from some things, some markers that I used previously to identify myself. And I’m moving toward other things, markers that I hope to be able to use to identify myself with in the future. But somehow, right now, I feel like I’m kind of in limbo.

Who am I? Who is this Grace person?

I don’t know. I guess I’m still mulling that over.


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