It's the Little Things

I came downstairs this morning to a washer and dryer covered in lint. Sometimes there are crumbs left all over the counter, sink and/or stove. Coats, hats and gloves get left in the dining room rather than getting hung up and put away, etc. These are all little things, but things that can drive me crazy if I let them.

My house isn’t perfect, it’s not spotless and I don’t expect it to be. My house is lived in…think somewhere between a model home and what you see on hoarders. It depends on when you stop by which it more closely resembles.  lol  Michael doesn’t expect perfection and that’s good because those little things I listed are things that he’s been guilty of, some on a regular basis.

I get annoyed sometimes, like this morning. I was starting my day and caught sight of the washer and dryer and instead of going along with my regular routine I stopped and cleaned up the lint first. Is that a big deal? No. It’s not like it took me long to do. But I guess the real reason it bothered me was because I see it as a lack of consideration. Logically I know that Michael probably didn’t even notice that the lint went everywhere when he cleaned out the lint tray. Some of you are probably thinking to yourselves that you wish your husband would do laundry and are amazed that Michael even thought to clean out the lint tray. But Michael has done his own laundry from the get go, so I suppose that’s something I take as a given, something I take for granted. And here I am nitpicking about the lint. I know.

The issue with the crumbs left on the counter, in the sink and on the stove is basically the same as the lint. Does it annoy me? Yes. But I honestly don’t think he even sees it. And often if he’s left crumbs lying around it’s because he was the one who prepared the meal. He’s a good cook and it’s something he enjoys doing for his family. And so, how petty is it for me to be annoyed by the crumbs left lying around? Ugh. Again, it’s not so much the crumbs, but the feeling that he takes it for granted that I’ll clean up after him. If he asked me to do so, that would be one thing. I mean if he cooked dinner and asked me to clean up afterward, that sounds pretty fair, right? But he doesn’t ask; he just leaves it. And yet, I don’t think he does it on purpose.

I guess another reason these little things bother me is because he has a habit of pointing out when he picks up after me. For instance, one night I left a mug in the living room. We had been snuggling and watching a movie and I was drinking hot chocolate. By the time we went up to bed I was more asleep than awake and I forgot all about the mug and so I ended up leaving it there. He came up to bed after me and said something like, by the way, I picked up your mug for you. I wasn’t sure from the tone of his voice whether he was just letting me know or if he was purposely pointing out that I’d left it there and he’d taken care of it for me. I was tired and so I just said thank you. 

I wonder how he’d feel if I called him up this morning and let him know that I’d cleaned the lint up for him? Would he see it as me just letting him know or would it feel like a condemnation? I’m thinking the latter, which is how it often feels to me when he points something like that out.  *sigh*   Perhaps the real issue here is communication.  Hmmm, that's something for me to think on.

Sometimes it's the little things that my husband does that really endear him to me, things that I find so sweet and considerate. He’ll go out and warm up the car so that it’s not freezing when the kids and I get in.  He takes care of the pool even though he rarely gets to enjoy it.  I’ve already mentioned that he cooks for us.   If I need help with something he’ll get right up to help me, even if he’s had an incredibly long day (or week) and he'd finally gotten to sit down and put his feet up. He’ll rub my back or run his fingers through my hair to help soothe me when I'm feeling stressed, etc.

And so, yes, it’s those little things that can annoy the heck out of me sometimes, but it’s also the little things that show me how much he really does care for me. I guess I just need to keep the latter in mind, when I’m confronted by the former. ; )


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