Speak Softly & Carry a Big Stick
Yesterday Michael was home. By last night I was feeling…feisty/out of sorts/wound up/something. I was trying really hard to hold it together, but it wasn't going so well. I admitted as much to Michael (pretty sure he'd already noticed) and told him that I could probably use some help. What happened next surprised me.
Michael didn't spank me. Instead he talked to me. He pulled me in close and talked about our dynamic and our roles within that dynamic. He talked about why things are the way they are, why he thinks it’s important and how he feels about it, about us. I wish I could remember the exact words he used, but I can’t. There was a firm determination about his countenance, but at the same time he was being very sweet, very loving. As he spoke I softened. I melted into him. I soaked it all in, soaked him in, his warmth, his caring. His words had the desired effect. They soothed me, he soothed me, calming me down. I was refocused and reminded of why we do this thing we do.
My husband can speak softly, often lovingly, at times playfully, sometimes sternly. And though he doesn't always need it, doesn't always choose to use it, he does carry a big stick. And I’m quite sure I would have been reminded of that last night if I’d still been struggling after he talked to me. But, I didn't end up getting spanked, as I thought I might. I’m not sure if Michael was tired or if he wasn't emotionally up for it or maybe he just wanted to try something different to shift my focus and help me get back on track. Whatever the reason, it worked.
It’s interesting how our dynamic has been changing lately. Before, not all that long ago actually, I don’t think he would've tried talking to me like that to begin with and if he had I don’t think I would've been able to settle down and really listen anyway. I think a talk like that would have been effective before, but only after a spanking. Lately though we seem to be more in sync…his dominance encouraging my submission and my submission encouraging his dominance.