Spanked, Spanked and Spanked Again
If you read my last blog post you know that I was feeling a bit nervous about a punishment that was coming my way. It had been awhile since I’d had a true punishment session and in fact there hadn’t been a lot of spanking going on in general, so I was worried that I’d really struggle to get through it. As the time drew near I grew quiet. Michael knew I was feeling anxious and he reassured me and made sure I was okay.
The punishment itself was hard to get through. But then, it’s not supposed to be enjoyable, is it? And it wasn’t. By the end I was close to tears. Michael held me and comforted me and then put me in the corner for a bit to reflect on what had gotten me into this position to begin with and what I needed to work on to make sure I didn’t end up there again.
The punishment spanking occurred Saturday night and Sunday we went to the fair. That evening we watched one of the events in the grandstand. My bottom was still sore from the night before and after sitting for awhile on the hard bench, it was hard to find a position that wasn’t uncomfortable. By the time we got up, my bottom was feeling quite sore. For some reason this didn’t seem to upset Michael at all. As a matter of fact, he seemed rather pleased about the whole thing. I know, I know, if I hadn’t earned myself a punishment to begin with I wouldn’t have found myself in that predicament. Hmmph!
Punishment aside, we actually had a very nice weekend. It was a treat to have Michael home for three days in a row. That doesn’t happen too often. We spent some time with family, some time with friends and some time just the four of us. And yes, Michael and I managed to find some time for just the two of us too.
Now lest you think the only spanking I received all weekend was Saturday night, that was not the case. No, I didn’t get myself into more trouble and it wasn’t really maintenance or a reconnection or any other nice little label I can think of to give it. It was just because…because Michael wanted to, because maybe I wanted him to also, because I guess it felt right…just because. Sunday night and Monday night he spanked me, not for too long and only with his hand, but enough to reignite the fire from Saturday night. Then last night he came home and before we cuddled up to head off to dreamland he spanked me again, shorter in duration and still just with his hand, but it was enough to have me squirming a bit and remembering the punishment I’d received only a few days prior. I’m pretty sure that was the point. While snuggled up to Michael afterward, but before falling asleep, I told him that I didn’t want to ever need to be spanked with the hairbrush ever again. He just smiled and pulled me close.
I find that I feel the closest to my husband when he steps up and takes charge. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about spanking, though obviously that factors into our relationship. But when he steps back I tend to start taking over. And when I take over I start to feel stressed and insecure and at some point my attitude kicks into high gear. But when he steps up, I can step back, I feel loved and cared for, safe and secure. I can’t really explain why that is, other than it’s just the way I seem to be wired.
Today is the first day of school for our kiddos…which means it’s the first day back to school for me as well, since we homeschool. I’m always sad to see the summer come to an end, but the fall is filled with good things too. The soccer games and apple picking, some birthdays thrown into the mix and the leaves changing make the season special.
Michael also tends to be less busy at work as the fall progresses. There are pros and cons to that. He’s usually home more, but his paycheck suffers. This time last year we had just started doing ttwd. I find myself wondering how this year will be different. I know we’re both much more comfortable with the dynamic now, but we certainly still have our struggles. Overall I’d say we’re more at ease though, with ourselves, with each other and with ttwd. Mind you, part of me thinks I shouldn’t say such things as sometimes it seems like as soon as I say things are going well that changes. Oh well, I will enjoy it while it lasts and be ready to tackle whatever lies ahead…we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, as the saying goes.