E.E.N.S.F.


E = Emotions…
Late last week I let my emotions get the best of me.  They poured out of me like lava from a volcano.  It was messy.  A couple of friends from blogland lent a listening ear and Michael and I found our way through it and came out alright, though perhaps not completely unscathed.  I don’t like it when I get like that.  I try very hard to keep myself in check, but I think sometimes that means that I’m suppressing my emotions rather than actually dealing with them.  And then at some point something happens that tips the balance, the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.  And then I lose it.  Ugh.  I think one of the reasons I’ve been feeling quiet is just the process of moving past that and working on how to channel my emotions, how to deal with them differently and not allow them to get the best of me.

E = Expectations…
Another reason I think I’ve been feeling quiet is that I’ve been adjusting to Michael stepping up more.  Wiggle room is becoming scarce.  Oh, that’s not to say that he’s being harsh or anything.  He can still be very understanding.  But, where I used to be able to either talk my way out of something or play upon his sympathies, well, that’s become harder to do and even frowned upon.  I think he’s feeling more secure in his leadership abilities and more comfortable overall with ttwd.  He has raised his expectations of me and while sometimes I’ve found it hard to adjust, overall I think it’s a positive change.  I will admit that his leniency in the past hasn’t always been a good thing.

N = Nagging…
Not all that long ago our clothes dryer died.  We don’t have an outdoor clothes line, so we hung things up around the house with the fans on to dry them as quickly as possible.  That went on for a couple of weeks.  In the meantime, Michael and I discussed whether to just get a new dryer or to get a new set, washer and dryer.  At first I was really hoping to get a new set, and I even picked a nice one out with good reviews.  But then as time went on I really didn’t care about getting a new set anymore, I just wanted a properly functioning clothes dryer.  That was something I took for granted until ours died and it didn’t take long before I was feeling quite impatient to replace it.  However, Michael wanted to get the best deal we could and so I waited and hung up clothes and linens all around the house.  But, what I didn’t do was nag him about it.  Oh, I wanted to sometimes, but I decided to trust him instead.  I mean, it wasn’t like he was going to just forget about it or decide we didn’t need a new dryer after all.  After we bought a new dryer (woo-hoo!), I asked him if he noticed, noticed that I hadn’t nagged him about it that is.  He told me that he really appreciated that I didn’t nag him and that he was proud of me.  And that made me feel good.  So often I focus on where and when I come up short, but it’s important to see the progress I’m making too.

S = Stress…
Unfortunately, as it turned out, the dryer wasn’t actually the issue.  Don’t get me wrong, the dryer was old and did need to be replaced.  But, the problem actually lies in the electrical box where the electric comes into the house and is dispersed via breakers to the various zones in the house.  It could have easily caused a fire and the box is going to have to be replaced as soon as possible.  To be honest, this has me feeling a bit stressed.  I’m worried about having a fire before we get the box replaced and I’m concerned about the cost, not that we have a choice.  We’re in the process of getting estimates right now.

F = Fatigue…
On top of everything, I’ve been tired.  I mean, really tired.  I’ve fallen asleep a couple of nights on the couch, which is very unusual for me, especially since it was early.  And my energy level overall has been a lot lower.  Okay, now before you ask, no, I’m not pregnant.  But, a medical condition I have can cause fatigue; in fact, it causes debilitating fatigue in some people.  It’s something I’ve struggled with from time to time, though generally not in a debilitating way thankfully.  I suppose I need to talk to my doctor about it, but in the meantime I’ve been trying to manage it and I keep hoping it will just go away.


So, now you know what EENSF stands for.  lol  I’m sorry I’ve been MIA (that one I imagine you already know, missing in action) here and around blogland lately.  I’m probably way behind on reading posts and though I’ve been wondering how everyone has been doing, I needed a little break.  Life in general has taken a toll on me lately and I’m still trying to regroup and recoup.  I’ve just been feeling quiet and have needed a little time to reflect.  I have so much to be thankful for and I’m very mindful of that.  I’m rich in the best ways, with faith, family and friends.

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