Keeping His Word
Michael came home last night. It was so nice to see him. I mean, he hadn’t been gone that long, just the day. But, it’s always nice when he makes it home on a weeknight. And because he’d only been gone for the day, it made me think how wonderful it would be if it was always like that. I mean, what if he came home every night? *happy sigh* I think I’d be on cloud nine.
Anyway, as I mentioned in my last post we’d opted to reconnect this past weekend with some lovemaking rather than spanking. And while it was quite wonderful and was just what we both needed at the time, I found I was having a hard time forgiving myself for my part in the things that had led to a turbulent weekend. I knew Michael had forgiven me and I’d forgiven him, but I needed something more to truly put it in the past. Michael knew, he seems to read me like a book these days…not all the time, but much more than before. I knew too and didn’t even bother trying to argue with him when he promised me some attention later when we went to bed.
It was awhile before we headed upstairs. Michael had fallen asleep on the couch for a little bit. Obviously he was tired and I knew he had a long day ahead of him today, so I wasn’t expecting much…or…anything really. I went up first, checked on the kids, climbed into bed, set my alarm, pulled the sheets up and snuggled into my pillow and our comfy bed. When Michael came up he sat down on his side of the bed, set his alarm and was fiddling around with something. I figured he’d lie down and pull me over to him so that we could snuggle and fall asleep. Well, he did lie down, on his side, facing me. But he looked surprisingly awake. I wasn’t sure what to think and I tried to talk him into snuggling with me and falling asleep. He ignored me, got up, came around to my side of the bed and pulled the sheets off me. Uh oh. At this point I tried to talk him out of it, tried to convince him to just come to bed, but it was no use. He pulled me up and started taking my pjs off me. When I asked him what he was doing he simply said “Keeping my word.” I noticed the smile on his face and the gleam in his eyes. It seemed he was looking forward to this.
He sat on the bed and directed me to place myself over his knee. I pouted and tried out that sweet, innocent look. He smiled, but his mind was already made up. Hmmph. Over his knee I went and he started in with his hand. Now, I haven’t had much in the way of spankings for a bit, so right away it really stung. As he ramped things up I started squirming, but it didn’t seem to faze him much. A couple of times I moved enough that he smacked me on the thighs which certainly got my attention quickly and I moved back into position. At one point he stopped so I could calm down a little, but the break didn’t last long. When he stopped again I asked if he was done and he said yes. Then I asked if he was sure, which of course meant that I felt like I needed a little more, not that I was actually going to say that mind you. He got the message and gave me just a few more smacks, ones I’d be sure to remember.
Honestly, what I don’t remember is the exact sequence of events after that point. I had figured that Michael would want to go to sleep after spanking me, but he quickly made it apparent that wasn’t what was on his mind. I certainly wasn’t complaining!
Today I found myself wondering if Michael had needed to spank me as much as I'd needed him to do so. I mean, it had done the trick for me, I wasn't beating myself up over the weekend anymore and I wondered if he felt better afterward too. And so, I decided to ask him about it. As it turns out, he felt better afterward too and admitted that it had helped him put the weekend behind him more fully. Interesting. I'd often thought that this was something just I needed, the spanking aspect that is, but perhaps it's really something he needs too. Knowing that it had helped him too, that he also felt better afterward, well, it has made me look at ttwd a bit differently. Perhaps I was just being dense before, not seeing the impact it has on him. I mean, I know the impact ttwd has on me, but I think at this point he'd feel as lost as I would if we decided to forgo this part of our relationship. I'm still thinking about that, perhaps another post coming up, but for now I'll just share that I feel lighter somehow with that knowledge. I'm missing Michael tonight, but just thinking about him gives my heart a feeling of warmth and has put a smile on my face.