Longing


I didn’t really think I’d be writing blog posts again already.  When I wrote Feeling Detached I did so more out of a feeling of obligation than anything else.  But, writing that and getting such supportive responses helped open the doorway in my mind to go on to write Dazed and Confused.  And now here I am writing again.  I’m still very much processing and haven’t been able to bring myself to read much in blogland, but I’m starting to feel better.  And I’m looking forward to the weekend.

I sent Michael an email…

I found myself placing my hand around my throat and pressing in, squeezing just a little, wishing it was your hand and not mine.  I miss you, my sweet.  I miss us.  And I know you know what I mean.  I love you!

I have a longing for that connection, to bridge the gap between us, to make things right, to feel at home and safe in his embrace.  I think he feels much the same way.

I have a habit of allowing myself to be consumed by things.  I’ve done it with books, with research, with projects, with schooling, with cleaning, with ttwd, with blogging, with so many, many things over the years.  I throw myself into something and it’s as if nothing else exists.  As you can imagine that’s not always a good thing.  Right now I long to be consumed by Michael...to get lost in his eyes, to feel his lips on mine, to feel his body press against me, to give myself to him.

*sigh*  It’s only Wednesday.  Friday isn’t that far away though.  I hope he comes home Friday night rather than Saturday morning.  But, either way, I have a feeling that things will be better between us after the weekend.  That’s my hope anyway.

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