Things have been stressful lately. Thankfully it has nothing to do with my relationship with my husband. No, this has to do with my sister. We’ve never been particularly close, partly because we’re several years apart and partly because we’re just very different people. We have different ideas about how to live our lives, different values and priorities. Things came to a head recently, heated words were exchanged, and I was actually quite shocked at the level of animosity she clearly has for me. As such, I’ve now cut off all contact. Though I suppose this has been coming for years, it still feels like a loss. But, I’m at peace with my decision. I need to distance myself from her at this point for my own emotional wellbeing. One friend of mine wisely suggested that perhaps this is just a time for me to focus on my immediate family without outside stressors. Another friend wisely noted that the loss I was feeling was probably more due to what could have or should have been rather than what actually was. I've been very aware lately that I have a lot of people around me who love me and genuinely care about me and my family and I'm so thankful to have them in my life. It also strikes me that there are seasons in life and in many ways I feel like I’m turning the corner into a new one.
Michael and I have two children. Our kids are growing, as kids have a way of doing. Our daughter is a teenager and our son falls into the pre-teen category. DD (that stands for dear daughter in this case, not the other thing) is almost as tall as I am now, taller depending on the shoes. She’s not working this summer, but will hopefully be starting an internship this fall. She’s gone more, hanging out with her friends. And she’s thinking and talking about life after high school…college and careers and such. She’s blossoming into a lovely young woman and I couldn’t be more proud of her. DS (that’s dear son) is catching up to his sister quickly in height and his feet are bigger than mine now. He recently passed along a pair of Crocs to me that he’s outgrown. It’s very strange to get hand-me-downs from your son! Some of his favorite things are legos, nerf guns, and vehicles of all sorts. As I’m writing this he’s in the living room playing with some cars, trucks and airplanes, making engine noises. Sometimes he still seems very much a little boy and yet there are signs that he too is growing up. Our kids get along quite well with one another. Oh, don’t get me wrong, of course there are disagreements and a bit of sibling rivalry, but overall I’d say they’re close. I hope and pray that they never find themselves in the place my sister and I currently find ourselves in.
As for Michael and I, we’re doing well. He’s been by my side (well, figuratively anyway) helping me through this rough patch with my sister. I know he wishes there was something he could do to fix the situation, but there really isn’t. He doesn’t like to see me hurting and I know it’s been hard for him to watch. He’s been gone all week, but the kids and I did manage to meet up with him last night. It was too short, but so sweet. This weekend will be a busy one with a party to attend, last minute preparations for our daughter to go away to camp for the week and then actually taking her to camp. Hopefully we’ll manage to sneak in a little time for just the two of us in there somewhere, but if not, at least he’ll be home and I can see his smile and hold his hand and fall asleep in his arms. *happy sigh*