Answers: What is Domestic Discipline?

*** last updated: 8.7.12 ***
I posed the question to our community, what is domestic discipline.  I’m thrilled by the response via comments and/or blog posts!  This post is to serve as a compilation of those responses/opinions/definitions/
answers.  I hope that this will be a good resource for our community, especially for those just starting out or seeking to know more about DD and trying to understand what it’s really all about.  Thanks so much to all of you who have participated!
My advice (take it or leave it) as you read through the various posts and comments is to take from them what you want, what you think may work for you, what speaks to you and seems appropriate in your situation and leave the rest.  As you'll see, while there are some underlying similarities, there are also many differences. And that's how it should be, not cookie cutter, but customized/personalized to each couple and their situation.

Blog Posts: (in alphabetical order by blog name)

A Uniquely Different Life: What is Dd? 

Blissful Dwelling Place: Define Domestic Discipline (Dd) 

Learning Domestic Discipline: What is Domestic Discipline?

Shelter in The Storm: Let’s Call It Domestic Harmony

The Road Less Traveled: What Is Domestic Discipline?

Vanilla Extract: What’s DD?

We’re Making up for lost time: What is Domestic Discipline…and what is it not?


Dana: Grace, I think it's different things to different people. I think it manifests itself in each relationship differently because people are different. I think there are some common ingredients such as one person (for me, it's The Man) is the HoH, and the other person has made the decision to yield to this person as the leader of their home and relationship. It is a partnership, where when the final decision has to be made, the HoH is prepared and expected to do lead.
For me, it means that I need the safety that him being in control gives me. It gives me permission to lean, to soften to submit, to be the wife I feel God intended me to be. It gives me the vehicle to be a better person, and a way for us to resolve issues and become closer and more open with one another.

Ashley: I kind of think there isn't really an answer except that there is a power exchange between a couple that effects more then their sex life....and it usually involves consequences for undesirable before from the sub and thoughtful unselfish leadership for the dom/hoh. I HATE the word domestic discipline I've decided because as soon as you hear it, people automatically think of an adult/child relationship. I think that's dumb because the word "discipline" means a lot more then a consequence....

Tess: Wow, Grace...looks like you really started something with this question! Love it. At times I feel like I am still trying to wrap my head around what it is and isn't to us. Everybody seems to be a similar page with some of the fundamentals - one person 'in charge' or the leader in the relationship, expectations and consequences, etc. But from there it can go in many different directions and what it really looks like and feels like on the day to day is so very different for every couple and that's cool to see. If you are ever able to mash all of this together into one cohesive definition, it will be super impressive!!

Anonymous:Hi there. I recently came across your blog and I have been slowly reading through it on my phone - I must have read at least half of your posts already! I am not in a DD relationship yet, I'm still only 19, but I was in a relationship with my high school boyfriend for the past 3 years (we go to separate colleges and aren't currently together) and Michael reminds me so much of him. This is something I've hinted at but haven't come out and told him about. I'm not that brave yet. However, one day, whoever I'm with, I hope will be interested in trying DD. Thanks so much for the insight into your life, and I just wanted to say hi! Sorry I can't really answer your questions.. I'm still learning and asking myself the same things!

Note: The comments I shared were in response to my blog post Question: What is Domestic Discipline?  That’s where I originally posed the question and asked others to share answers via a blog post or comment.  There are comments that I haven’t shared here because they weren’t an answer to my question or they were sharing a blog post link, which I’ve already shared above.  Of course you can feel free to go directly to the post to read all the comments.  There are also great comments on all the blog posts listed above, so be sure to check those out too!

If I've neglected to include your blog post or comment, I apologize.  Please know that it wasn’t intentional and let me know so that I can add it!  
Also, if you have a comment or blog post that isn’t on one of these lists because you hadn’t shared it yet when I posted this, please let me know either via email or in a comment to this post.

Thanks again to everyone who shared their thoughts!  :)


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