Blogging and Vulnerability

I hesitated to put up yesterday’s blog post, but I’m glad I did.  I was feeling pretty vulnerable though.  There haven’t been too many posts that I’ve felt that way about, at least not to that extent, but yesterday’s was one of them.  And there haven’t been too many posts that I’ve written and then decided not to share, but there are a few of those too.  Usually if I don’t share it’s because we’re already beyond the place we were, or I was, when I wrote the post, and I feel that rehashing it may do more harm than good.

I think that being able to be open and vulnerable, within reason of course, is a great quality for a blogger to have.  It makes you more real, more relatable; at least that’s how I feel when reading other’s blogs.  But even though there is a measure of anonymity, it can still be hard to put yourself out there sometimes.

After Michael read my Slave Girl post he sent me an email…

If you feel uncomfortable with the term, I can try to avoid using it.  But, rest assured, it doesn’t devalue you at all to me.  I enjoyed reading your post; it was kind of like getting to relive the experience, but from your perspective.  I love you!

I thanked him and told him that he didn’t have to avoid saying it.  I said to think of it as similar to when I first started to call him Daddy.  It wasn’t that he didn’t like it or didn’t want me to say it, but it was new and strange to him and he had to wrap his head around it (so did I actually). 

I share so much here that I would never share anywhere else.  And there is the thought in the back of my mind sometimes, I wonder who’s reading.  I’ve mentioned before that I thought perhaps a friend of mine was reading and I’m pretty sure she is or has anyway.  Oh, I could be wrong, but it’s a strong possibility.  She’s a good friend and an open minded one, but it’s still strange to think she could be reading my blog.  I don’t change what I’m writing just because I think she may be reading occasionally though, and I don’t think that would change if I knew for sure.

I want to thank you.  Yes, you!  This blog has been a safe haven for me to share my innermost thoughts and very personal experiences and get feedback from others.  I was in a much different place when I started this blog than I am now.  I keep learning and growing, as does Michael.  Sometimes I wonder when we take a turn down a different path if you’ll stay with me or be appalled and turn back.  But I’ve found this community to be very accepting and supportive, so thanks!  : )


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