I love my husband

Our 19th anniversary is coming up very soon.  As I look back over the journey we’ve made, it amazes me.  We’ve gone through a lot together…births, deaths, moves, financial hardships, job/career changes, major life decisions, parenting, health issues, and the list goes on and on.  The joys certainly outweigh the sadness that we’ve experienced and we have much to be thankful for.

My husband is an amazing man.  He’s a wonderful father and more than I could ever have hoped for in a spouse.  He loves me unconditionally, supports me in the tough times, and celebrates with me in the good times.

One of the many, many things that I love about Michael is that he makes me feel like its okay to be myself.  You see, I sometimes struggle with how I “should” be or feel versus reality.  On the one hand, I’m a confident woman, not worried about how others perceive me or my decisions in life.  On the other hand, there is an insecurity that lies inside.  It’s not usually about what others think, but what I think of myself.  I can go out and stand strong and conquer the world, but how do I feel when it's just me, myself and I?

This morning I was texting with Michael and I had to decide if I was going to say exactly what I was thinking or change it up a little.  I was brave…

                Daddy, I miss you. 

But, then I was unsure.  I felt a little uneasy.

                That looks strange to me in writing.  I call you daddy all the time, but I never 
                 write it.

I was feeling insecure about it, about myself really, and I did wonder what he thought too.

                It does, but that’s ok.  I miss you too!  Remember, we have over 4 days 
                together coming up.

                I know.  I can’t wait! 

His text put an instant smile on my face.  My text may have taken him by surprise, my choice of words that is, but he immediately put me at ease.  That’s something he’s really good at.  He's a much more easy going, laid back, go with the flow kind of person than I am.  And it's almost like he gives me permission to just be me.  I know, I shouldn’t need permission, but there’s that little voice in my head that likes to point out all the ways I just don’t measure up.  And, if I let it, it can take over sometimes and I can really make myself miserable.  I’m not entirely sure where that stems from actually, but Michael does a great job at helping me to see things differently.  I can get so worked up over things, stressing out, but he has such a calming effect on me.  He really centers me.

I could write a whole long post about all the things I love about my husband, but I’m afraid I might bore you.  We've decided to wait a few weeks before actually celebrating our anniversary.  Life is about to get very busy, in good ways, but still busy.  We’re going away for the long weekend this weekend, spending it with family and friends.  And then my parents and nephew are coming to visit and they’ll be here for a couple of weeks.  I’m really looking forward to it, but I know it’s going to be a whirlwind.  In fact, if you don’t hear much from me for a little bit, don’t worry; just know that I’m busy and that I’m enjoying time with my family.  I don’t get to see them often, so my focus will be on them while they’re here.

In a way I’m glad we’re waiting to celebrate our anniversary.  I haven’t figured out what to get for Michael or what to do for him.  He’s hard to buy for and often I end up buying tickets for us to go do or see something together.  For instance, his birthday is in September and I saw that one of his favorite comedians is going to be in the area and so I already bought tickets for the two of us to go to the show for his birthday.  For Father’s Day the kids and I are taking him to a monster truck show.  When talking about our anniversary, I asked him if there was anything he needed or wanted, but he told me he didn’t want me to buy him anything.  He said that a card and me is all he wants and needs.  That’s really sweet, but it’s just that I know he bought me something and so I feel like I should buy him something too.  I mean, if we had decided not to get each other gifts that would be one thing.  Maybe I just need to get creative.  Hmmm…any suggestions?

By the way, have I mentioned just how much I love my husband?  *happy sigh*  He’s pretty amazing and he may not be perfect, but he's perfect for me!  As much as I’ve enjoyed the past 19 years with him, I’m looking forward to the next 19 even more!  : )


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