Can a submissive be collared?  Being collared is something I associated more with the whole Master/slave dynamic, as in a bdsm relationship…not so much in a D/s, HOH/submissive relationship.  And yet, here I sit typing this, having been collared.

Michael gave me a necklace for our anniversary.  It’s a chain with a pendant hanging from it.  The pendant has an M engraved on it.  Most people who have seen it are perplexed because usually when people wear an initial it’s the first letter of their first name.  Well, my name doesn’t start with an M.  Some people have asked “Mom?”  Nope.  The M is for Michael.  Well, actually, it stands for Michael’s, as in, I belong to him, it’s possessive.  Michael says he also likes to think of the M standing for Mine (him saying mine, not me of course) and Master’s.  Of course, I don’t share any of that with people.  I just say that it stands for Michael and that it also has another special meaning, but that’s just between Michael and I.

I was excited when Michael handed me the box to open.  You see, it was a certain shade of blue with a creamy white ribbon with a bow tied nice and neatly on it.  Do you need a hint as to where such a box may come from?  When Michael asked me if I knew, I smiled and said “Yes, the breakfast place.”  When I opened it and saw the pendant I knew immediately what the M stood for…well, I was merely thinking Michael, not Mine or Master’s.  The clasp is small and though Michael tried putting it on me, I ended up clasping it myself.  His fingers and hands are just large and aren’t really meant to handle such delicate things.  Though he can be soft and gentle with me, clasping a small jewelry clasp is often beyond his capabilities. 

Once it was around my neck, he stepped back and admired it and then he shared with me the meaning behind it.  He told me that it was my public collar.  I’m to wear it at all times, with the exception of swimming or showering, until July 1st.  What happens on July 1st?  I have no idea.  And if there’s another instance when I would like to take it off or I think it would be better to do so, then I have to ask permission…though I’m sure in certain unforeseen circumstances he would understand if I made that judgment call on my own.  He talked to me about how it's a symbol of our relationship, of ttwd.  And then he asked me if it was what I wanted.  I said yes.

I have to say that the whole exchange was pretty powerful.  I loved the gift and I loved the symbolism, but at the same time it all felt a bit overwhelming.  I asked Michael if he felt the same way, if it was as powerful a moment for him as it was for me.  He said yes.  So, I asked him if he had anticipated it feeling that way and I was surprised when he again said yes.  He said that as far as jewelry is concerned it is after all second only to my engagement ring and wedding band in meaning, so it makes sense that it would be a powerful moment.

And so, I’m now collared.  I feel like I should be questioning the meaning of that statement.  And though it’s a thought in the back of my mind, in the forefront I just feel secure and content and loved.  I know that this doesn’t really change things, we’ve been moving along this path for awhile now, albeit getting sidetracked at times and making a couple of pit stops along the way.  I’m not sure I much care about what the labels mean or supposedly mean, submissive versus slave, Dominant versus Master.  We’re in a good place, a place that seems to suit both of us, and I don’t really care what it’s called.  Things have been a mix of D/s, DD, and BDSM for us all along; it’s just that sometimes the ratio seems to change a bit.  All in all, it’s this thing we do, and whatever the mixture is made up of, whatever the ratios are; to me what really matters is that it’s working for us.


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