If you haven't read Prelude to Playing Possum, you may wish to do so before reading this post. ; )
I don’t remember if I woke up or he woke me up, but I remember stumbling up the stairs and falling into bed. I was almost back asleep by the time he came up and asked me if I’d checked on the kids. I drowsily shook my head no and was prepared to head off to dreamland. When Michael climbed into bed a few minutes later, he tried to get me to come snuggle, but I stayed put. I’m pretty sure he thought I was asleep and I let him think that. I wanted to just fall asleep, to be asleep already, but unfortunately that wasn’t happening. I lay still for a few minutes, but the longer I laid there, the more awake I became and I started to grow restless. I was thinking about the punishment, the spanking, and how he obviously wasn’t planning to follow through at this point. Had he forgotten about it? I doubted it. I understood that we were both tired and needed sleep, but I’ve asked him to please, please, please talk to me if he’s not going to follow through with something; otherwise I have a tendency to end up an emotional wreck. I know, I know, he thought I was asleep and that was my fault. When he realized I wasn’t, he came over and whispered in my ear “Are you playing possum?” I shook my head no, but he wasn’t buying it. Uh oh.
He told me that he had still been planning to spank me, but that he thought I’d fallen asleep. A short talk ensued and then he removed my pj bottoms and had me get into position. Have I mentioned how much I dislike the wooden hairbrush? That thing hurts, especially with no warm up! I hoped he was done when he stopped and bent over to whisper in my ear, but he said that I had four more coming. You might be tempted to think that I would feel relieved, knowing there were only four more to get through. But, you’d be wrong about that, because I knew those swats would be harder to take, delivered with more force. And I was right, they were. He pulled me up afterward and kissed me and then put me in corner time. Somewhere in my head I knew that he hadn’t fully gotten through to me, that I probably needed a bit more to get into the right head space, that my walls still weren’t completely gone, that I hadn’t let him in fully. But, I didn’t want to say anything, I didn’t want more, and I didn’t want to seem like I was telling him what to do. So when he asked me questions, like if he'd gotten his point across, I gave him the answers he was looking for. I wasn't lying exactly; it’s just that my heart and head weren’t quite there. I guess you could say that I was playing possum again. And unfortunately, all too soon, that became apparent.
We lay down on the bed together, spooning, he was rubbing me, talking to me, letting his hand explore. I’d like to tell you that I was relaxed and enjoying it, but as he started escalating things I started protesting. As you can imagine he wasn’t too pleased about that and wanted to know what was going on. I had a hard time articulating my feelings, but after a little while I managed to convey enough to him that he realized that I had needed more spanking or lecture or something, my walls weren’t down, and that I was struggling between trying to maintain some control and trying to submit to him. He rolled me over, pulled me close and started smacking my bottom hard with his hand. Then he had me get up on my hands and knees and continued. Should I ever be tempted to think that he needs to use an implement to get his point across he made sure that I realized otherwise. When he was finished my walls were down and I was in a much more submissive head space. And by this time his Dom-O-Meter was reading pretty high too.
He told me that I belonged to him, that he would control my pleasure and my pain. He continued to talk to me while his hands roamed my body, pinching, pulling, rubbing, slapping, whatever he wanted to do. I’d start to squirm a bit, but he would make it very clear to me that he didn’t want me to move. Then he decided to make sure I was hearing him loud and clear by grasping both of my nipples and pinching and pulling them. Things escalated from there and soon he was lying on his back and I was on top of him. He was building his rhythm and all the while he still had my nipples in his grasp. Then all of the sudden he stopped and told me it was my turn. I just looked at him, surprised, and then he pulled my nipples hard, not happy with my hesitation, and I started moving rhythmically back and forth. He started talking to me, telling me things he could do to me or have me do to him. And then he decided that I wasn’t moving quickly enough and he decided to encourage me…by pulling my nipples and then pushing them. I had no choice but to follow this rhythm that he repeated over and over again. It was intense and it wasn’t long before I was begging him to stop. He did, when he was ready, and when he let go of my nipples they were so sore, so tender. Suffice it to say, the night didn’t end there and eventually we collapsed together, entwined, spent and content.
As I look back over the weekend I can see that inconsistency played a part, with both maintenance and punishment. And poor communication or lack of communication played a part with Michael getting upset with me when I came back from shopping (for no apparent reason, as far as I was concerned), and for me across the board (not telling him that I still had walls up, that I was really awake, etc.)…oh and there was that incident of deliberate disobedience too. But, overall we really did have a good weekend. It was nice to get away, our daughter was feeling better, and we enjoyed some time together and with some family and friends as well.
Now, if only I remember to fulfill Michael’s request of me this week. He’s been asking me to look into something and provide him with information pertaining to it for…um…probably a month now, if not more. I keep forgetting, or putting it off when I do think of it. But the topic came up on our way home and after talking about it for a few minutes; I was admonished “BY FRIDAY!” There was no statement regarding consequences if I don’t get around to it by Friday, but I imagine it would probably involve either the hairbrush, the wooden paddle, or the bath brush, so I’m thinking that I had better take care of it before Friday!