Love/Hate Relationship

My body and I have an interesting relationship.  It’s a love/hate kind of a thing.  I need my body to live in this world, but it doesn’t seem to like me very much and I’m not always so fond of it either.  Isn’t there some kind of trade in program or something?  I’d really like to upgrade.

I’ve had health issues from the time I was born.  Some have been very minor and others not so much.  Some have carried through my life and others have come and gone.  To look at me the only thing I think you’d notice though is that I could stand to lose a little weight.

My weight has been up and down over the years and right now it’s on the high side for me.  Last year I was about 15 lbs lighter than I am now and I wanted to lose a little more weight then.  Losing weight won’t eradicate my health problems, but I’ll feel better, look better, and it will boost my confidence.  And who doesn’t want that?

Yesterday I was able to get on the treadmill again.  It felt good.  I’m going to have to be careful not to overdo it though.  My doctor really wanted me to wait another week, but my foot is feeling a lot better and I convinced Michael that I was ready.  He made me promise not to do too much, to go slow, and stop if my foot was bothering me or if I had any problems.

Overall, I really can’t complain.  Things could be so much worse.  I never used to talk about my health issues, but I’ve found that I’m not able to reach out to others if they don’t know that I’m dealing with or have dealt with the same or similar struggles.  And yet, I’m not sure that I’m ready to share just what they are here for some reason.  Oh well, perhaps that time will come.

The reality is though, that we all have our struggles and challenges.  They could be physical, spiritual, financial, emotional, etc.  I try to keep that in mind when dealing with others.  Just because they may appear fine, doesn’t necessarily mean that they are.  Are they dealing with a health crisis or a family member’s health crisis, a death in the family, a divorce, a wayward child, depression, spiritual uncertainty…these are things you can’t necessarily tell just by looking at someone.  And we’re so used to answering that question “How are you?” with “Fine.” that it’s no wonder we often may have no idea what’s really going on in someone’s life.

Anyway, I seem to have strayed off course a bit in this post...but…what else is new?  lol  I imagine I’m not the only one who has a love/hate relationship with their body.  Michael has forbidden me from talking negatively about myself though…as in saying things like “I’m fat”, etc.  He doesn’t agree and he doesn’t approve of me putting myself down.  I know he’s right, negative self talk isn’t healthy…but sometimes don’t we all engage in it?  I mean, even the most beautiful, healthy, physically fit person has got to look in the mirror at some point and not be thrilled with what they see, right?  It’s when you focus on it too much that it can really be harmful I think.  I know, I should just appreciate this body that God gave me, and I do, but I also get frustrated with it sometimes too.


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