Answers


Since March is apparently question and answer month here in blogland, I asked in a previous post if anyone had any questions for me.  I thought I had answered the one that would be on most people’s minds already, but a few people still had questions.  ; )  And so, I suppose I should probably answer them, hence this post.

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Q : And I thought that it was Potato Chip month! But if March is for questions - here is mine to you. What's the story of how you and your husband met?  Was it love at first sight?  And... do you like potato chips?  LOL – Christina

A: Well, actually my husband and I met when we were 6.  Our families attended the same church and we went to school together.  And no, it wasn’t love at first sight.  I was pretty sure he, like other boys, had cooties.  Eeeewww!  lol  I remember he would always be way ahead when we went bike riding, but I could swim circles around him in the pool…still can!  ; )  And yes, I do like potato chips!

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Q: LOL  Grace, I've heard you don't really have to worry about being crazy until you stop asking if you are.  I still question so I guess I'm okay :) – Faerie

A: So perhaps I’m not crazy after all?  Hmmm, I’m not so sure about that.  lol  I don’t think you have anything to worry about Faerie!  ; )

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Q: I have a question!  When are we doing the girly holiday? :) lol – Dee

A: Well, let’s see, NOW sounds good!  lol

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Q: Such a cute post! And I agree with faerie. :)  Okay, I have a question, is that super cute couple in your blogger avatar you and Michael? – Riley

A: Thanks!  You ladies obviously don’t know me well enough yet.  ; )  And, to answer your question, no.  I would never share a pic of Michael and I on my blog.

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Q: What's your most favorite innocent vice?  Mine is buying socks. I LOVE them. Puppies, frogs, Hello Kitty, argyle, whatever - love 'em. – Isabella

A: It sounds like you have a cute sock collection!  I guess I’d have to say mine is purses/bags.  I check out other women’s handbags and my eye is always drawn to them if I’m shopping.  I tend to be a bit picky, but I don’t spend a lot of money on them.  Michael may disagree, but if he knew just how expensive some bags are, he might change his tune.  I tend to watch for sales when I’m itching to get a new handbag.  ; )

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Q: I like this idea.....OK my question is the same as Riley – I’ve often wondered, is that really you and Michael :)  But for a more original question I guess, how did you get started in ttwd? – Kiwi

A: As I told Riley, nope, it’s not us.  ; )  How did we get started in ttwd?  Well, my sexual fantasies always revolved around themes of dominance and submission, including things like spanking and light bondage.  Michael was open to exploring that with me and we found that we both enjoyed D/s in a sexual context.  In reading around online, I discovered DD and was intrigued by it.  At the time, Michael and I were going through a rough patch in our relationship.  We decided to try DD to see if it helped and it did.  But, we hadn't really made a commitment to live that way and over time we moved away from it.  Oh, there were a few things here and there that lingered, but mostly we reverted back to D/s to spice things up in the bedroom.  Fast forward to last year and we had let life come between us.  It hadn't happened overnight, but our marriage was in trouble.  Oh, we weren’t separated or filing for divorce just yet, but something needed to change or that’s where we were headed.  I started looking around online for marital advice and stumbled on a couple of websites, Taken In Hand was one.  And then I found some blogs.  I read a bit, thought back to our first experience with DD and decided to see what Michael thought.  I think we both knew that this was what we needed and that this time around we needed to make a real commitment to it.  We weren’t just trying to help our marriage; we were trying to save our marriage.  The changes and growth we’ve experienced in the last 6 months has amazed both of us.  We’ve changed course and I’m happy to say that we don’t feel like we’re headed toward separation and/or divorce any longer.  : )

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Q: At what point in your relationship (speaking of after you first met Michael) did you realize that Michael's dominant nature was just the right match for you?  (even if you couldn't have identified that it was his dominant at the time- so in retrospect) Can you tell us about it? – Elysia

A: Good question!  Michael and I were friends before we dated.  Over the course of about a year we became quite good friends actually.  Once we started dating, it wasn’t long before we both knew that this wasn’t going to be just a casual relationship.  We were high school sweethearts, btw.  ; )  Michael was kind and caring and always ready to step in or step up to help me out.  He was always looking out for me and he respected me.  Susie likes to call me feisty and I admit it, she’s right, I am.  Michael enjoyed that aspect of my personality, but at the same time he also expected to be respected.  He had a way of curbing my behavior that made me feel cared about, not controlled.  And I did respect him, for so many reasons.  I’d dated a couple of guys before him that wouldn’t stand up to me.  I could steamroll over them.  I found that I didn’t respect them and I got bored.  They were both nice enough guys, but I longed for more.  I wanted to challenge someone and to be challenged.  And Michael, well, he was up for the challenge!  I truly believe we were made for each other.

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Q: It's fun having fun with being crazy! – Sarah

A: Agreed!  ; )

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Q: Is there anything you have learned that would have changed the way you did things in the beginning. Is there anything you wish you knew back then? Hopefully they are not too similar. – Zoe

A: Well, I hesitate to say that I would go back and change anything because what we’ve gone through is what’s brought us to where we are today.  I guess I would try not to be so hard on myself and on Michael and be more patient.  I put too much pressure on things, on both of us, at times.  I also would’ve made communication a bigger priority in the beginning.  Instead I sometimes assumed what Michael was thinking (or feeling) instead of actually finding out.  There were times when I’d be upset about what I thought he was thinking and come to find out that’s not where his head was at all.  In truth these are things that I still struggle with, but I’m a lot better about them now than I was at first.  I really had no idea how all encompassing ttwd would end up being.  I mean, I knew it would be a big change, and I was in a hurry to get to the finish line sometimes.  What I didn’t realize is this is far more about the journey, than it is about getting to a certain place.  I mean, it’s good to have goals, but in reality, we should never stop growing.

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Wow!  This was really fun!  Some questions were pretty easy to answer and others I had to really think about.  Thanks so much for the participating!  : )


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I was asked another question after I posted this, so I decided I'd just add it on...

Q: Hm, you may not want to answer this one, but is Grace your real name?  And if not, how did you choose it as your online nickname? - Ana

A: No, my real name isn't Grace.  I think it's a pretty name though and I'm very grateful for God's grace.  I also chose the last name Fulbright, so that means I'm Grace Fulbright...or graceful bright, if you look at it differently.  I'm not tooting my own horn though.  Honestly, I don't think I'm all that graceful and I hope I'm bright...with the light of Jesus.  It's a "feel good" name for me.  Too often I'm putting myself down or doubting myself, always seeing where I fall short.  And this name was a way of lifting myself up I guess, kind of an encouragement to myself.  ; )

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