The Amazing Man I Married
It wasn't true, but my answer was “nothing” when he asked me what I was thinking about. I managed to sound pretty convincing, and the conversation moved on and soon we were saying goodnight. I felt badly though. I had been thinking about something, I just didn’t know what to say or if I should even say anything. So, I decided to send Michael an email, yes, even though we had just been talking on the phone. I do this from time to time. I’m not quite sure what he thinks of it. I wonder if it bothers him. But, I figure he’s happy that I’m communicating, even if it’s kind of on my terms sometimes.
You see, I knew that he was upset. He’d been planning to buy himself something. He’d been looking forward to this purchase for awhile. And the time to go ahead and get it was very near. I’m pretty sure he could almost taste it. And then, circumstances intervened. The money he was going to use for his purchase was needed for something else. I knew he was disappointed. And I was disappointed for him. He works hard to support all of us and he deserves to have some things that he wants. I’m sure he’ll still be able to make his purchase, but he’ll have to wait a bit longer.
In my email to him I apologized for saying that I wasn’t thinking anything, when I had been. I told him that I just didn’t know what to say or how to say it. I said that I knew he was upset and disappointed about not being able to make his purchase yet. And I said that if he wanted to make it a priority over something else that I was okay with that. I admitted that at times like this I get upset with myself because I feel badly that I'm not providing any financial support for our family. I apologized that so much falls on his shoulders. His email back to me…well, I’ll just let you read it for yourself...
Thanks, believe it or not this is how I want it. It is a lot of pressure, but you have plenty of pressure at home too! I am bummed, but we are not making it a priority. It's my fault for not being more responsible with our money anyway, so this is my punishment. You may not bring money in, but what you do is invaluable. This is mine to worry about and deal with.
I just sat there staring at the words. It took me a minute to respond. I didn’t even know what to say and so I emailed back, “Why does it feel like the correct response from me is: Yes, Sir.” His reply was “Sounds right to me!”
You see, he conveyed several things with his response. He acknowledged what I said and how I was feeling. He reassured me that this is how he wants things and he showed appreciation for me and my contributions. He admitted how he was feeling and took responsibility for his part in the situation. He was also unselfish in that he was unwilling to rearrange our priorities just to get something that he wants. He also effectively shut me down. I mean that in a good way. His reply shut down my emotional response because he stepped up and claimed ownership of the situation, stopping me in my tracks.
I found myself wondering, who is this man? He’d been kind of missing in action for awhile, but then again so had his wife. To see him making a comeback, even stronger than he was before, well, it sets my heart aflutter and takes my breath away. I am so very blessed. I love him more and more. I hope I can grow into being as wonderful a wife as my amazing husband deserves.
Note: When I emailed this to Michael he replied, “You already are a wonderful wife. Thank you for the compliments. I'll try not to let them go to my head! lol I love you!”