Michael has taken to giving me tasks to complete sometimes. He might assign me a household chore or it might be something a bit more provocative, even perhaps pushing my boundaries a bit.
Sometimes I've even asked him for a task. Does that surprise you? At times I just need to feel that connection a bit more, especially when we’re apart. I’ll send him an email or a text or even ask him on the phone if there’s anything I can do for him, offering up my submission. Often he will give me a task, I never really know what it will be. Other times he'll thank me for my offer of submission and tell me how much he appreciates that I want to please him, and then tell me that he just wants me to relax or have fun or enjoy my evening or whatever. You know, the first time he did that I was actually a little disappointed. But, it didn’t take me long to figure out that I was looking at it all wrong. He was being sweet, not trying to deny me or dismiss me. And sometimes he’ll tell me to put on a certain necklace. This is to help me feel closer to him when he knows I’m missing him and perhaps feeling a bit out of sorts. As I put it on I think of him placing it around my neck.
You know, at first I thought this was all perhaps a bit silly. I wondered if it was a bit pointless. But, it actually does help. It’s not necessarily the task that matters, especially if it’s a household chore or something. It’s the fact that I’m doing it for him. I’m doing it because he asked me to do it, told me to do it, not just because it needs to be done. I find myself thinking of him as I complete the task, whatever it might be. It’s about the mindset.
Michael had me put my necklace on yesterday afternoon because I'd been feeling a bit out of sorts. And he gave me a task to complete last night, after the kids were in bed. It was a quiet time sort of task. He wanted me to get out an implement, one that he routinely uses for maintenance. I was to undress and sit on the bed with it for 10 minutes. He wanted me sit quietly and think about him using the implement on me, how I’m positioned, how it feels as it hits my skin, how I feel before, during and after. I started off feeling a bit silly, as I often do with this kind of a task, but it didn’t take long for me to focus on the implement and start thinking of my husband. As the time ticked away my demeanor started to change. I went from being a bit restless and just wanting to get it done and over with at the beginning to being still, calm, and centered by the end.
These tasks, little or big, erotic or decidedly not, are basically submission exercises. Michael had begun to incorporate them into our dynamic before either of us knew they had a name. But since reading more about the concept on Sara’s blog and talking about it, he’s been stepping up his game and experimenting more. There have been times when it’s been very subtle and if I wasn’t thinking about it or paying attention I may not have even realized that’s what he was doing. Other times there’s no way I could miss it. We’ve found that these tasks, these submission exercises, seem to enhance our dynamic and keep it in the forefront of our minds, whether we're together or apart. Michael doesn’t give me tasks all the time, but when he does it certainly has an impact. I’m curious, are tasks/submission exercises used like this in your relationship? I'm just curious how many couples have incorporated this into their dynamic.