Ask and You Shall Receive

If you read my post yesterday you may recall that I told Michael I thought I probably needed something from him.  What I meant by that was, I was feeling out of sorts and I needed a task or something that would help me feel his presence, his dominance, even though he’s not here.  He told me he’d think on it and get back to me.  That afternoon he sent me an email; he said to go put a certain necklace on and that he’d give me further instructions later.

That evening I was debating on whether to exercise or have some dinner.   I wasn’t feeling 100%.  I knew I could exercise, just maybe not as vigorously, but I really didn’t feel like it.  I’d only exercised once so far this week and the rule is three times a week and I really should have done it earlier in the day yesterday.  If I didn’t exercise last night that would mean that I’d have to make sure I did today and tomorrow.  I was wondering if maybe Michael would give me a reprieve, since it had been a busy week and I was feeling under the weather.  So, I sent him a text.  I told him I was debating on whether to exercise or not, told him that I wasn’t feeling 100%, but that I could still exercise if he thought I should.  He told me that if I didn’t feel good I could skip it.  Thank you sweetheart!

Later on I got an email from him detailing my task for that night.  After the kids were in bed, I was to close myself in our bedroom and get undressed.  I was to leave the necklace on and I could leave my socks on if I was a little chilly, but otherwise I was to be naked.  He wanted me to position myself with my hands on my dresser on either side of the wooden hair brush…the one that is never used for brushing hair, it’s only used to redden my cheeks.  He wanted me to stand there as if he’d placed me there after a spanking, bent over some, legs spread, bottom out.  I was to stand there like that for 10 minutes.  He told me that he was looking forward to seeing me in that very position this weekend, only with red cheeks.  After I was through I could take the necklace off and get dressed and then I had to email or text him and tell him that I’d completed the task.

Well, let me tell you, it didn't take long for my mind to start to wander.  I was staring at that hairbrush, thinking about the times he’s used it on me.  And then I started to think about where things have a tendency to head after a spanking is over.  My mind went straight to the D/s side of things…nipple clamps, butt plug, his hand pulling my hair or on my throat, him using my mouth and whatever else he wants for his pleasure, etc.  I started being impatient for the 10 minutes to be up, not because I was bored, but because I wanted to pleasure myself, which is just what I did once the numbers read 10:00:00 on the stopwatch.

I always think about Michael when I’m bringing myself to orgasm.  It’s been that way for a very long time.  If we're not in a good place, if I'm upset with him, I may as well not bother, because it's just not going to happen.  I imagine it pleases him to know that in a way I rely on him for my pleasure whether he's actually here or not.  Sometimes I think about things we’ve done or he’s done to me or he’s had me do to him and other times I fantasize about things we haven’t done.  Sometimes these fantasies are things that I think I might actually like to try.  Other times they’re things that I find exciting, but I wouldn't really want to experience.  And yet other times they're things that Michael has shared with me, fantasies of his that he may or may not actually wish to follow through with.

After I was through, I sent an email to Michael.  I told him "mission completed", told him what the experience was like, and that I had pleasured myself afterward.  Then I said thank you.  I thanked him for giving me something to do, a task to complete, to submit to his authority and feel his dominance even though he wasn't here.  He seemed to appreciate that.  He said he liked the way that sounded.  I called him Sir and he called me little one and we told each other that we loved each other and missed each other and we shared that we were both looking forward to the weekend.

At one point in time Michael had told me that I wasn't allowed to pleasure myself if he had been home that day or he was going to be home that day.  That rule didn't last long though as it wasn't really an issue and it wouldn't have made a difference yesterday anyway.  He replaced that rule with a new rule, I needed to ask permission first.  That totally backfired.  The few times I gathered up my courage to ask, I didn't actually follow through after he’d given me permission anyway.  So now the rule is simply that I have to tell him afterward.  That one is pretty easy to abide by, though I've figured out that I need to tell him before I forget about it because I will probably remember at some point and I don't want to find myself in trouble for not telling him sooner.

I haven’t read much about this topic, so I’m curious how other couples handle this.  Are there any rules regarding pleasuring oneself?  And I’m also wondering, if anyone is brave enough to share, what sort of things do you think about when you bring yourself to orgasm?

Note: Oh and by the way, you don't have to answer my questions.  I just threw them out there because I really am curious.  ; )


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