Actions Speak Louder than Words
Words can be powerful, but I still believe that actions often speak louder than any words ever could. In fact, often words are so powerful because of the actions taken to back them up or perhaps because of the lack of such action even.
I’m honestly shocked by the things people do sometimes, by people’s actions. I guess I have the tendency to expect others to at least try to live what they claim to believe. I mean, yes, we all fall short sometimes, myself included, but I do try.
I guess I shouldn’t be shocked; people go against what they profess to believe all the time…a pastor has an affair; the CFO of a charity organization embezzles money; a fireman commits arson, etc. Those are, I suppose, extreme examples.
But, what does it say about me if I deliberately break a rule, go against my husband’s wishes, either in hopes of not getting caught or as a test to see if he’s paying attention? I suppose it might say that I want to be sure where the boundaries really lie or perhaps it shows that my trust in him needs some more time to grow. But, it also might say that I don’t take this seriously, that I’m not really committed to making ttwd work, that I don’t respect him and that I don’t value honesty. And that’s not a message that I want to send. Agreeing to a rule and following through are two very different things. My actions will speak volumes more than my words.
There’s another saying “do as I say, not as I do.” Any parent knows that just doesn’t work. Children will copy what they observe. I remember one time when my daughter was very young, perhaps 3 years old. The three of us were in a store, Target I believe. Our daughter and I were looking at something and my husband went into another aisle and when we went to look for him we couldn’t find him. As we wandered through the store I muttered something under my breath about him being a pain in the butt, and when we did find him, our daughter proceeded to chastise him, “Daddy, you’re a pain in the butt!” Well, it sounded pretty cute in her little girl voice, which is a good thing or my husband might not have laughed. I do remember him giving me a look though and I made a mental note that I really needed to be more careful about what I said and did while little eyes and ears were watching and listening.
I don’t imagine that “do as I say, not as I do” would be any more effective in a dd relationship frankly. It’s not really a good leadership quality. A good leader leads by example. If an HOH expects things like respect, honesty and communication, he needs to display those same qualities himself. My husband’s actions speak volumes more than his words as well.
I guess I don’t really have a pretty little bow to wrap this post up with. These are just things that I’ve been thinking about lately. What about you? Any thoughts on this topic? Any insights to share? Do you agree that actions speak louder than words? What message do you think it conveys if you deliberately act against your husband's wishes? How well do you think it would go over if your husband tried to tell you to do as he says, not as he does? I wonder if that's why consistency or the lack of it can become a big issue. I mean, if my husband expects me to be consistent, to follow through, I should be able to expect him to do the same, yes? If not, isn't he asking me to do as he says, not as he does? Hmmm...perhaps some HOH’s have some thoughts on this as well?