Reconnecting

             Do you want to keep doing this?

             Yes.

             Are you sure?

             Yes.

             Why?

Because I know how much it’s helped our marriage.  I hadn’t realized how bad things had gotten between us.  We’d been growing apart and at the rate we were going we probably would’ve been split up before the kids were out of school.  And I went through that as a child, two parents growing apart and divorcing.  It wasn’t a fun experience as a kid and I can’t imagine it was any better as an adult.  Now that we’re becoming closer I realize just how far apart we’d grown and I won’t let that happen again.  Just think about tonight.  Before DD how would tonight have gone?  We would’ve both stood our ground, argued and we’d have gotten nowhere.  We’d have gotten off the phone upset, had  hurt feelings and we’d either still be upset tomorrow or we’d have bottled our feelings up and not dealt with them.  And bottled up feelings come out sooner or later and when that happened it would be even more hurtful and destructive.  Instead, we’ve talked things through, moved past those hurt feelings and apologized to each other.  We’re telling each other how much we love each other and wishing that I was home so that we could connect physically as well as emotionally.  That’s a huge difference and we will not go back to how things were before.

He was right…about everything.  Before we added DD to our relationship I’d started to wonder if we’d be one of those couples who split up after the kids were grown and out of the house.   I’d never thought that before and the realization that that’s where we were probably headed was sobering.  It made my heart sad and I felt a sense of hopelessness.  I prayed about it, sometimes finding the words to ask God to help us and other times knowing that he saw my tears and heard the silent prayer of my heart.

The last few months things have been so different and so much better.  We’ve opened up to each other again, we’re talking, and we’ve been much more intimate.   More and more we’re working together as a team instead of competing against one another.  When things go wrong, instead of angry silence or heated words that poison our marriage there’s been a lot of talking and sometimes some tears before getting to a place of togetherness again.  We’re allowing ourselves to care, to love again and to show that to one another.  Sure, there have been bumps along the way, but we’ve worked through them together.

When we got off the phone I felt like my whole world was right again.  I felt loved…no, more than that…I felt cherished.  *happy sigh* 

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