Well Hello Mr. Consistent

I was so sure that Michael wasn’t going to spank me, but guess what?  Mr. Consistent stopped by to say hello. 

By the time we headed for bed last night I had myself convinced it wasn’t going to happen, that it just wasn’t in the cards.  I figured that it was too late and that he was too tired and that despite his best intentions he’d either forget about it or he’d convince himself that it wasn’t really necessary.  I thought about all the times over the weekend that he’d taunted me, talking about giving me birthday spankings.  Yes, I had a birthday recently.  I suppose you want to know how old I am, right?  Ok, I’ll indulge you.  I turned 40, yup, the big 4-0.  He’s never given me birthday spankings before…oh, maybe a couple of playful swats, but that’s it.  I admit that I was curious what it would be like, how things would play out.  Of course even if he didn’t give me any birthday spankings, there was still that everyday thing too. 

As I said, it was late and Michael was tired.  And he had to get up really early the next morning...stupid early, as we call these super early mornings he has sometimes.  I figured we’d snuggle up in bed together and he’d be asleep about the time his head hit the pillow.  I was feeling conflicted.  On the one hand I knew he was tired and needed to get to sleep and I wasn’t really looking forward to being spanked.  On the other hand I wasn't sure how I’d handle it if he didn’t follow through.  And I wanted that connection with him.

I don’t know.  It’s times like this when I start feeling like maybe I’m too needy, like maybe I put too much pressure on the situation, like I should just take things as they come and not worry about it so much.  I found myself hoping I wouldn’t end up with a bad attitude and that I wouldn’t put up a big wall.  I could feel myself starting to go there, but I was trying to squash those tendencies.  I told myself to just go with whatever happened or didn’t happen and accept it.

And then, out of the blue, Mr. Consistent showed up.  I wasn’t quite sure how to react actually.  I mean, in my mind it wasn’t going to happen, so I wasn’t prepared for the fact that yes, in fact, it was.  He made it clear to me what he was going to do and explained why.  I tried to talk him out of it and resisted a little.  It was harder than usual for me to hold still while he spanked and so I ended up otk with my hands under his leg that was beneath me, and his other leg on top of mine, holding my legs down.  He’d started off with the rod when I was on my elbows and knees on the bed, but he changed to the wooden spoon once I was otk.  This wasn’t just a few swats, but it wasn’t like discipline either, somewhere in between…maintenance I guess.  He told me that he knew I needed this…that we both did.  He told me how much he loved me and that he wanted to be sure that I knew I was worth his time and attention…that staying connected was as important to him as it is to me.  When he was done he made me go look at my bottom in the mirror…so I could see the nice rosy shade for myself.  I guess he wanted to show off his handiwork or something.  Big meanie!  Then he rubbed lotion on my warm tush and we climbed into bed together.  We snuggled and it wasn’t long before he was asleep.  I laid awake for a little while, still snuggled up to him, thinking about the turn of events.

I was pretty shocked really.  I mean, he had reasons not to take the time and energy to spank me…it was late, he had to get up stupid early, he was already exhausted…and yet, he had spanked me anyway.  In truth, I was also kind of surprised that he knew that’s what I needed.  I mean, I know we’ve done a lot of talking about stuff recently, but in the past I think he’s thought that he was being nice to me if he let me out of a spanking.  It certainly sounds reasonable, but in reality that’s just not how ttwd works.  Actually, somehow, not spanking me when he’s said he would seems, in my mind, to equate to him abdicating his throne.  And Miss Independent is in the wings, alongside Miss Attitude, just waiting to be crowned.

As I thought about things, about this man who I love, I found myself a little bit in awe of him.  I guess I had forgotten the kind of man that he can be, the kind of man he is, this man that I married.  I’ve taken him for granted for far too long.  Neither one of us has really been living up to our potential for awhile now, especially in our relationship with one another.  It’s time for us both to take back the reins on our lives and our relationship and stop just going along for the ride.

Oh, and if you’re wondering about the birthday spanking, no that didn’t happen…not yet anyway.  I tried to tell him that it was too late because it’s not my birthday anymore.  He didn’t seem to think that mattered.  Hmmph!  Don't worry, you'll be the first to know...well, other than me...if he decides at some point that a birthday spanking is on the agenda!

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