Upset with Myself

There was some important paperwork that needed to get filled out and mailed and I completely forgot about it.  It wasn’t until I got a letter in the mail today regarding the topic that I realized I’d never gotten it done.  In reality, it’s not a huge thing.  There was still time to fill it out and get it sent, no harm done.  However, it’s the fact that I forgot about it to begin with that was really bothering me.  And, if I had waited too long to get it in, well, it wouldn’t have been a good thing.

I told Michael about it and he could tell how upset with myself I was.  I was a little nervous telling him, because I didn’t know what his reaction would be.  But, he told me that I was being too hard on myself, that I should just take care of it and that I needed to chill.  Ok…maybe he had a point, but it didn’t make me feel any better. 

I think part of me wanted him to discipline me for it.  And that doesn’t make any sense to me.  Does it make sense to you?  It’s like I wanted to be absolved of my sins or something and instead of having to say Hail Marys, I wanted to be spanked.   (actually, I’m not Catholic & as such I’ve never said a Hail Mary, but you get my point I’m sure)  Craziness!  First of all, there was no sin involved.  Secondly, even if there was, God is the one who absolves sins, not HOH’s.  And thirdly, Michael isn’t even upset about it, so why would he spank me for it?

You know, the funny thing is, he told me, rather gleefully I might add, that he’d spank me for it if it would make me feel better.  I said “yeah, thanks” but somehow resisted to urge to roll my eyes at him.  He had a smirk on his face, but said that he was being serious.   Hmmm…does he know me better than I think he does? 

Fast forward a little and I’m not as upset about the paperwork.  I got it filled out and I just need to mail it.  But unfortunately, Miss Attitude has reared her ugly head and has been roaming about.  So now, discipline looms on the horizon.  Maybe I should’ve just asked for the spanking earlier and then I wouldn’t find myself in this situation?  I have no idea.  Men are right, women make no sense at all.  *frustrated sigh*


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