Headed Down the Wrong Road

Last night…wow…where was I headed?  Down the wrong road, that’s for sure!  I mentioned in my last post that I was having a problem with attitude.  Well, Michael stepped up, but I didn’t change course, instead I kicked it into high gear.

I didn’t feel like being submissive.  I didn’t want to hear what he had to say.  I didn’t want to do what he wanted me to do.  And I certainly didn’t want to let him do what he wanted to do. 

I’m my own person, thank you very much, and I really don’t care how you feel or what you think or what you want right now…that was my general attitude.  Yeah, not good.  But Michael was there by my side to help me turn it around, guiding me in a better direction.

I’m still trying to figure out where it came from.  Was it pent up from being upset and out of sorts earlier in the day?  Was a part of me disappointed that he didn’t take me in hand then?  Maybe it was the waiting after he told me that I had discipline coming.  I told him last night that sometimes it’s really hard to wait.  And, I almost always have to wait, sometimes for hours, other times for days.

After discipline was over, I decided to bring something up that I’ve been thinking about.  I talked to him about lecturing.  I approached the topic carefully, not wanting him to think I was trying to tell him what to do, especially after my earlier behavior.  He does sometimes talk to me, but it’s usually quite short and to the point.  I’d like him to try changing his approach a little to see if it helps me get into a more submissive place before he even starts spanking.

I read an article on Learning Domestic Discipline about lecturing and the general idea seems good.  Mind you, the actual example conversation would make me want to scream, lol, but it’s nice that an example was given.  I was thinking of passing along the link to Michael, but I was wondering if anyone else has any suggestions.  Does your HOH (or do you, if you’re the HOH) lecture?  If so, what do you feel are the keys to a good lecture and what is achieved by it?


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