Bedtime


I think I’ve mentioned that I tend to be a night owl, certainly not a morning person.  But, since I want to get up at a good time in the morning I decided that I should probably try to get to bed a bit earlier.  I came up with a bedtime that I thought maybe would work.  The problem is that I mentioned something about it to Michael.  I  didn’t tell him that I’d come up with a bedtime actually, but I did tell him that I’ve been staying up really late, emphasizing that I’ve still gotten up when I should in the morning, but admitting to feeling tired during the day.  I didn’t add that it’s been really tempting to sleep in just a little later in the morning because of it. 

Michael’s been gone a lot for work and so he had no idea that I’ve been staying up so late.  There is no bedtime rule.  And actually, there isn’t a rule about when I need to get up in the morning either…though I get the impression that there’s an expectation there.

I know, I know, I should just go to bed earlier.  But the kids go to bed later these days.  They’re getting older after all.  And I like some time to myself at night.  You know, time when the house is quiet, when there are no interruptions, when no one needs or wants anything from me.  Now if only I didn’t need so much sleep, then staying up late and still getting up at a good time in the morning wouldn’t be such a problem.  Is it possible to be both a night owl and a morning person?  If so, where do I sign up for that?

In the meantime what do I do about it?  I’d like to say that I’m just going to buckle down and get to bed on time.  But, though I know I should do just that, somehow I’m not feeling all that motivated.  That’s probably why I mentioned it to Michael, and also why I now wish I’d kept my mouth shut.  Maybe part of me wants his help with this?  No, that can’t be it.  I mean, it seems kind of childish for one thing.  I mean I how old am I anyway?  (wait, I have a birthday coming up, one of those birthdays, so never mind I don’t want to talk about age, lol)

Ugh.  I guess I’m having an issue with deciding what is worthy to ask him for help with…and part of me still thinks that I should be Miss Independent. It seems that I’m still trying to figure this whole thing out...how this DD thing works exactly.  There has to be a balance for both of us…right?

The thing of it is, Michael is already off and running with this bedtime issue, or at least it looks that way.  Yesterday he told me that I needed to be off the computer last night by 11.  He didn’t tell me what time I had to go to bed, but I’m sure he’s figuring that if I’m off the computer earlier then I’ll probably head to bed earlier also.  I really wasn’t sure how I felt about that, about him telling me when to get off the computer at night, but I did it. 

I don’t know, perhaps I’m just over thinking this whole thing.  I mean, if I know I need help in an area I should be able to admit it (to myself and to him) and ask for help, right?  That sounds really simple.  Why is it that things often sound so much easier in theory than they actually are in practice?

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, after yesterday’s post, I don’t have an update on that at this point as Michael isn’t home yet.  And I’m trying my best to forget about it right now!  Admittedly, that isn’t working so well.  Yikes.

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