Be Careful What You Ask For
Michael will be home sometime tomorrow morning. For some reason I don’t do well when he’s home during the day, during the week. I’m used to going about my business, taking care of stuff around the house, doing school with the kids, etc. And when he’s home it throws everything off. I have a tendency not to respond favorably. What happened last week flashed into my mind and I certainly don’t want to go down that road again!
So, after thinking about it, I told Michael my concern and that I had an idea. I asked him if he’d give me something to dwell on, something that he was going to have me do or expect from me or something he was going to do to me sometime tomorrow. It could be anything. (can I just say, that’s a dangerous statement!) My reasoning was that this will hopefully head off any negative behavior. We’ll both already be in that head space. And knowing that there’s already something looming, I should be less likely to push my luck.
Michael throwing off my day isn’t the only reason I think I tend to, um, act up sometimes. You see, he’s gone a lot and when he’s home he often has stuff to do and the kids want his attention and he’s tired. That doesn’t always leave much left over for me. Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand it. He’s usually up quite early, works long days, etc. But, I look forward to that attention from him too. And there are so many nights when by the time the kids are in bed and he finally sits down on the couch to relax for a little bit, well, it often doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep. And it doesn’t always bother me. Sometimes I just snuggle up to him, steal the remote and watch what I want to watch for a little while. Other times I’m seriously bummed. And I think, as immature as it sounds, that sometimes I push his buttons just to make sure I get some attention. Yeah, I know, that’s not the way to go about things, but it’s not really a conscious thing I do.
Anyway, I wasn’t sure what Michael would think of my idea. Would he think I was trying to tell him what to do? That I was trying to run the show? That I was topping from the bottom? (Me? Would I try to do a thing like that? Nevermind, let’s not go there.) But, he didn’t think that. He realized it was a suggestion, a request, an attempt on my part to help things go better tomorrow. And he thought the idea was worthy of a try. So, he needed to think of something. He batted around a couple of ideas and then settled on one.
When he gets home tomorrow morning, we’re going upstairs and he’s going to insert the butt plug. Then I have to wear it as I go about my day. He hasn’t decided for how long yet, but he said it would be a minimum of a ½ hour.
Oh dear. I really should be more careful about what I ask for.
I’m going to admit something though. As much as it makes me nervous, it also excites me. Goodness, there must be something wrong with me! I’ve mentioned before that as much as I dislike anal play, it makes me feel very submissive and dominated by him when he decides to go there. It’s such a love/hate thing. Don’t ask me to explain, because I can’t.
So, tomorrow morning…yeah…I guess I just have to wait and see if he follows through and if so, how long he makes me wear it. I’m trying to decide, am I more nervous or more excited? I don’t know, a little of both I guess. I’m thinking that maybe I’m more excited by the idea right now, but by tomorrow morning I’ll probably be way more nervous about it than excited.
Oh, and I need to keep an eye on the time tonight. Why? Because he told me that I need to be off the computer by 11pm. Hmmph. If he keeps finding ways to assert his authority I’m in big trouble!