Michael and I have toyed with this lifestyle for awhile now.  And we’ve even tried to be more serious about it a few times, but it’s never lasted long.  It’s always reverted back to little more than some playful spanking as foreplay.  Not that that’s a bad thing mind you, but really we’ve wanted more.  We just never managed to get there (is it too soon to say, until now?).  We were just never on the same page, it was just never the right fit or maybe the timing was just all wrong.

I realize this is still pretty new for us, so it may be that we’re in a honeymoon period or something, but that’s not what it feels like.  It feels different than it has in the past…more comfortable, more natural.  Susie’s post made me think that maybe it has to do with maturity.  Michael just turned 40 and it’s my turn pretty soon.

I don’t know, but we both seem to be on the same page now.  We’re ready to stop playing games I guess.  And that hasn’t really been the case in the past.  I know I’ve had a bad habit of trying to top from the bottom.  I wanted to be dominated, but I wanted to be in control of how I was dominated.  And notice that I said I wanted to be dominated…not that I wanted to submit.  Yeah, that doesn’t work so well.

I hope that things really are different this time.  That we’ve found a new way to navigate this journey we’re on.  Somehow it feels not only exciting and new, like a new sports car or something, but also comfortable, like a favorite old blanket or sweater.  Seems like a pretty good combination if you ask me!  ; )


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