Wow! What a weekend we had. In a way none of this is new, but it kind of feels that way. It feels more defined, more…real. We’ve played with, toyed with, this lifestyle for awhile now…since the beginning really...stepping things up a bit as we’ve gone along. We’ve grown in this together, for years now, and we’ve decided that we’re ready for something more…serious…roles that are more clearly defined, not so ambiguous.
He is the HOH, yes, but what does that mean? Well, for one thing it means that he’s the leader and I’m the follower. I can be right there by his side, walking hand in hand with him, but he’s clearly the one leading me along, leading us along. It means that I share ideas and can have input into the decisions, but the final say is his. And I have rules now…not just a vague idea of what he’d like and then I decide whether I want to cooperate or not…but rules to follow…and consequences. As he said, rules aren’t really rules without consequences.
I must say though that I can be a mischievous one…and he doesn’t always view that as a bad thing. There are times he quite enjoys it. He loves the playful side of me. However, I have this habit of not just stepping over that line drawn in the sand, but running, jumping, leaping over it. That’s the sort of thing he’s not going to tolerate anymore. And that’s an area I’m going to have to work on.
Rules. Something I’ve bucked my whole life. I’ve never been much of a rule follower. Not that I don’t follow any rules. I mean, I do wear my seat belt. ; ) But, I like the freedom to do my own thing. And in many ways I will still have that freedom…just not in certain areas…or perhaps not without asking first.
I’m to show him respect. I’m to text him every morning when I get up. I have to ask permission to get my hair cut (he prefers it long). I’m not to say that he doesn’t love me. There are times when he expects me to address him as Sir. There will be maintenance once a week and discipline as needed. Both are of course completely at his discretion, though he did give me specifics for breaking the few rules he’s given me thus far. If I don’t text him when I get up, it’s 2 strokes with the wooden paddle for each day missed. If I say that he doesn’t love me, that’s 5 strokes. And the big one…if I get my hair cut without asking permission it’s 50 strokes! Oh, and he said that for discipline I’ll be counting the strokes. Oh…um…ok…I mean, yes Sir.
Perhaps these rules don’t make sense to you. But rules in a relationship like this should be a personal thing. It may not matter to another HOH at all if his wife gets her hair cut…but obviously it matters a lot to mine! Rules shouldn’t be arbitrary. If the Head of the Household makes a rule that he doesn’t really care about he’s going to be less likely to enforce it and she’s going to be less likely to follow through.
I will tell you that I did try to protest the hair thing though. I mean, it’s my hair, right? And I should be able to decide for myself if I want to get it cut. Yes, he prefers it long, but I’ve had it short many times and after he gets used to it he’s always told me how good it looks on me. So, I tried to protest. Maybe, just maybe, I was testing him a little bit. *sheepish grin* I’ve been known to be able to talk my way out of things or into things, depending on what my agenda was. But, he wasn’t tolerating it and stopped me in my tracks. I hope this doesn’t sound condescending, but I was impressed.
Though it sounds contrary, I believe there is strength in weakness, in being able to be vulnerable, in trusting someone you love and who you know loves you, in submitting to him.