You might say that I can have an attitude. Michael would probably say that was a vast understatement. I’m a sassy, feisty, fun loving girl, what can I say? lol But, there are times when that attitude turns from fun loving into nasty…and that’s the problem. I’m starting to recognize when I’m headed in that direction, but I’m still pretty bad at stopping myself. This is where I could really use his help. But, is that something I want to ask for? You’re kidding, right?
Not long ago I wrote a post about respect. That’s one of my rules, showing him respect. And I said that I was glad that he hadn’t tied a specific discipline to the breaking of that rule yet because I figured that I’d probably become far too well acquainted with that awful wooden paddle. Well, probably the biggest way that I show disrespect to my husband is with my attitude. And I’m having trouble correcting this behavior by myself. Ugh.
Actually, I do think I’m doing better about purposely pushing his buttons, which is good. But it’s the times when I’m not in a good mood to begin with or I’m in the middle of something or maybe he says something that doesn’t sit well with me that I end up responding with an attitude. It just kind of comes out, without me really thinking about it.
I guess we’ve been stuck in a pattern. One of us starts out being short with the other or impatient or whatever, then the other gets annoyed, and then that aggravates the first person and it just spirals downhill from there. There have been a couple of times recently when this has started to happen and Michael has stepped up and put a stop to it…basically by silencing me. And anyone who knows me knows that’s no easy task. *sheepish grin*
You see, my way of stopping it doesn't go over well with him because it’s usually by refusing to speak to him and ignoring him completely. So, though I hate to admit it, it’s better if he’s the one to put the brakes on. He'll stop me from speaking, make me look him in the eyes, tell me that I need to calm down and make me listen to him. If I try to interrupt I’m stopped in my tracks. And as much as I hate it, I have to admit that it’s very effective.
But, this has always been in person and as you already know if you’ve been reading my posts, Michael is gone a lot. Email and texting aren’t really a problem because we’re usually just sending a quick message to let one another know about something or to say we hope the other one is having a good day or something like that. But, talking on the phone? Well, that can be a bit more problematic.
I was guilty of this just today. I had emailed him last night about an event coming up and wanted to know if he wanted to go and should I buy the tickets. The way his response was worded it sounded to me like he wanted to go, but wasn’t sure if we’d be able to and he needed to check on something else first. So I emailed him back saying ok and asking him to let me know when he figured it out. Sounds good so far, right? Well, then this morning he called me and left a voicemail saying that he didn’t know what I wanted him to figure out. Really? Um, ok, so clearly there was some miscommunication going on. I called him back, kind of annoyed, and went back over our emails to each other, explaining what I thought we’d meant by what we had said to one another and then I asked him if now he understood what I wanted him to figure out. Yikes. I could’ve just said that maybe I had misunderstood what he had meant and asked him to clarify or I could’ve said that I thought he’d meant that he needed to figure out if we would be able to go or not, so I was just asking him to let me know. But no, that’s not what I did. What I did was speak to him in a condescending manner. Not pretty. He seemed a little annoyed by my attitude, but he didn’t say anything about it. I wonder if that's because he's so used to it. :( The whole thing didn’t leave me feeling very good about myself.
So, what do I do now? I already apologized, but should I ask him for help in this area? I'm a bit hesitant to do that. Ok, I'm a lot hesitant to do that!
Do you have an attitude problem? Do you find it getting you into trouble? What do you do about it? Or maybe I should ask, what does your significant other do about it?